Your question: Band Advice

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Debs says...

Music is an evil, evil business that eats up people and spits them back out again, feeling quite wrecked.

Which is quite cynical, perhaps, but true. It's hard trying to make music, especially with friends. There's so much ego flying around and everyone is convinced that there's only one way of doing something and it's most certainly, without a doubt THEIR way and anyone who says different is a fool and a ninny. That's why most sensible people become writers or artists.

The thing is, there's little room for friendship in a band. Yes, you have to get along and communicate and respect each other, but be friends? Well, that's always a bonus, but so is having money. So, you've known this guy since school, big deal, can he play guitar how YOU want him to play guitar? Can he play it the way that's going to get your band playing a festival? Is he willing to put in the work? Are you willing to listen to his ideas and help him develop, or do you want to make that break and hit the big time? Does he want the big time? Or a laugh?

Sit down, talk to him, explain what you're wanting from a band and see if he's the same. You may be surprised, you may not. Either way, let him know that you'd rather stay friends and find a new band, than fall out and have no band or friend. There's nothing wrong with starting another band. Most of the musicians I know at the moment are in multiple bands, or have solo projects. And, so you won't be headlining Glastonbury together anytime soon, but you can still jam together. And once you start mixing with better and more serious musicians, you;'ll learn so much more. Stuff you can teach your friend. Then he can get better and form a band, maybe with you.

Char says...

Oh that's a shitter isn't it! What do you do? Dump your mate whose mediocre musical skills aren't quite going to get you into Jo Whiley's Live Lounge let alone your local working men's club, or keep your mate behind their proverbial shades and perhaps continue with your band exactly as it is?

A band of hope... a band of disappointment... a band of, well, crap music.

Yes, your friend will feel like they've been jilted at the altar. Rejection hurts. It will scar deeply, perhaps rendering them with long-term psychological issues, but bear me with me here...

Cite creative/musical differences. Or even say that you don't want to go on making music at the moment. Say that you've decided you don't want to be in a band at the moment, then wait a few weeks and join a new one, or create a new band and say 'Oh sorry, I thought you were happy in the one you're already in?!'

Feign ignorance! Works every time...

Good luck :)

Amanda says...

Ah, tricky one. Frankly, lovey, talent will get you absolutely nowhere in the music business so you might as well keep your friend on and avoid a nasty big confrontation. Is he a buff looking gent, popular with the ladies? If so, even more reason to keep him in the band as looks have, unfortunately, always got the edge over talent. However, if you're still adamant on booting him out of the band, I suggest you go all esoteric and develop weird, unhealthy musical tastes. Then you can simply split from him on the grounds of 'musical differences'. Works every time!

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