My bisexual friend fancies my straight friend
Dear Mookychick,
My friend just admitted that she is bi and I think that's great, but she has a huge crush on our other friend (who is a girl) and even though that friend is 100% straight she is always hitting on her. It drives my friend insane and is really annoying and awkward to be around. My friend asked me to talk to our bi friend but I don't know what to say. what should I say?
Love, Anonymous Me xxx
The Mookychick answer to your problem
Ashley says...
Tell her when the sexual attention is unwanted and she knows it, she's
acting no better than a leering stranger on the street, that at some
point it starts being harassment.
Might she be acting out sexually to
try to cover up some victimisation that's been done to her?
Magda says...
Hmm, it's hard to tell from your letter if your bi friend has even noticed that she is winding up your straight friend by hitting on her all the time. It also sounds like your straight friend is using you as the middleman because she feels so awkward about the whole thing that she'd rather not bring it up with the bi friend herself.
Right, first off. It's great that your friend is able to tell someone she's bi. She's probably feeling really courageous right now - it always feels good when you make a decision and take control of your life. But she's probably also feeling a little kinda... experimental. Like, a door has opened to a new world... so let's explore it all... NOW. She just really wants to take those bi urges out for their first official test-drive... and she's using your straight friend to do it. Fair enough, but it's becoming awkward so she's got to start looking elsewhere now.
Tell your bi friend it's amazing that she's able to come out as bi, but it's not fair for her to put all her excitement onto your straight friend who's clearly not interested in getting that attention, and isn't even interested in play-flirting. There's absolutely no reason your straight friend should have to feel the same way, and she deserves her sexual space! Your bi friend needs to find some other way of checking out her own path and doing a little exploration. Maybe it's time for her to do a bit of fun bi flirting on the internet?
Further links
Mission statement
Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.
