Your question: Should I go with a random boy if my best friend wants him too?

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Char says...

Oh this is a toughie! Factually, all is fair in love n' war and on the face of it, if she hasn't expressed an avid interest in him other than the standard 'phwwoah he's fit!' then personally I can't quite see the issue.

Morally, to go for the guy your friend likes is not de rigeur and many a girly friendship has suffered, broken down and ended up sworn enemies, and if you're in a small town then those extremes in feelings will only be magnified...

I would think very carefully about this. If you and this guy really really like each other and you feel it could turn into a meaninful relationship, you should go for it. If your friend values the friendship you both share then she will want for you to be happy, even if it is with a boy she originally liked. There is no point in her trying to stop you from doing it as it will only lead to resentment on both sides.

If I were you, I'd only go for it if she had not previously mentioned how much she liked him,in a serious way, and if you genuinely think this dude is boyfriend material.

If you go for it for any other reason, like boredom, to prove a point etc, then you're doing yourself no favours.

Give him a call, arrange a date with him but keep it on the down low. You should know for sure how you feel and what you think will be the outcome from being on the date.

Yes you'll miss out on telling her, and sharing the ritualistic getting ready and the subsequent decodation of his behaviour - 'he farted!' 'ooo!' 'What could it mean?"

It's up to you, but as long as you act in good faith and are true to your friend and yourself, then you should be able to figure out the right thing to do.

Char xx

Ashley says...

Well, boredom at work is often solved by boinking one's co-workers. But chances are it's just going to muck up your job, in the short-term (since I'm assuming you're not planning on staying at a pastry purveyor forever), and possibly your friendship in the long-term (though if you get to be 27 and still have all the same friends you had when you were 17, there's something odd there too). She's not in the right for getting angry at you for the actions of this guy and if you are being honest in your statement that you don't want to upset her, leave him be.

You're not going to be in that town, in that Dunkin Donuts forever, nor are you as frightened as she might be, since she's never had a boyfriend, that this powdered-sugar Lothario will be your one and only chance in the world of romance. So split a bear-claw with her and tell her you're above the whole thing. Keep your eyes on the horizon — just be careful when you're pouring that coffee.

Debs says...

The one time my best friend and I really fell out, almost to the extreme of never speaking to each other again, was over a man. The hardest part was that I was the one in the wrong.

And, naturally, we're friends again now and the man is not around. You can probably guess the moral of this story.

So, if you are going to make a play for this boy, then, well, you really need to make peace with your friend first and make sure that she is really cool with this. Otherwise, you need to let her have some space to make a move. If you're really good friends, you could also help her.