Your question: Should I dump my cutting druggy boyfriend?

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Debs says...

First of all, your boyfriend does have some issues. Serious issues, for which he needs help. He's not happy with something, otherwise he wouldn't be hiding behind drink and drugs. So, before anything else happens, he needs to see his doctor to talk about this and get help. I know you love him, but you can't help him with this.

I'm going to assume he wasn't always this way. Not unless you find yourself attracted to drunk, nihilistic junkies. So, you need to ask yourself, is the person with whom you fell in love still there, or has he changed into someone else? And do you want to be with this new person? Or are you still holding out that the person you first met is still in there somewhere? From the sounds of it, he's only really using you for sex, he doesn't really seem to be putting any effort into any other aspect of the relationship. Now is that the sort of person you want to be with? Don't you think you could do better?

You need to take a step back, take some time out from him. Be there as a friend to support him whilst he gets through his problems, because he sounds severely depressed, but not as a couple.

Ashley says...

He's cutting himself, doing drugs and getting drunk and then blaming you for not putting out? And you guys exist in a state where the worst thing he can be called for that is "emo"? He's being stupid. And you're being stupid if you're staying with him. He needs a doctor and some bandages. And you need some Amy Winehouse.

Magda says...

In a funny kind of way I'm not so bothered about the drugs and the cutting. It's not great, but it's a way of expressing your insecurities that mostly affects you, no-one else. I'm not happy with your boyfriend being moody for a week if you don't have sex. That seems unfair to you. I'm also not happy that that he's fallen out with all your band mates. One or two? Fine, we can't get on with everyone. But your boyfriend's antisocial behaviour is quite strongly affecting your life, and it's nice that you're capable of loving someone, but I'd expect to see some love coming back. And a boyfriend saying "Yeah,I love you, but I'm unhappy all the time, your friends piss me off, let's have sex, what do you mean you don't want to have sex? Okay, I'm going to give you the cold shoulder for a week because you don't understand me" isn't someone showing their love. It's someone feeding off their own negativity.

I think he sounds really unhappy and it's great if you can help him with some of his problems. But possibly as a friend, or as one of a few friends - not as a girlfriend. From what you've said, I think he's too focused on his own pain to be able to give much affection or understanding to anyone else at the moment.

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