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Amanda says...

It sounds like you have more than a hatred of medical related stuff - I suspect you are borderline medical phobic. This is a phobia of anything associated with the medical profession - hospitals, medical equipment, medical practitioners and medical procedures. This can be a real problem if you have something wrong with you and you need treatment, not least that your boyfriend is in the medical profession. It's also a huge problem if someone you love is dying in hospital and you can't bear to visit them because of your anxiety of hospitals, so you really need to get help as soon as possible.You say you've been with your boyf for 4 years but you don't mention what exactly your boyfriend does. Has he been studying for years to be a doctor or similar? If you're honest, do you think you were attracted to your boyfriend in the first place because you knew he was going to enter this profession and by having someone close who was qualified to take care of you, you could avoid going to a regular doctor's surgery or hospital when you had something wrong? It seems you need to have a long look at yourself and seek professional help before the situation gets any more acute. Talk to your boyfriend and see if he can point you in the right direction of a cognitive/behaviour therapist and maybe a hypnotherapist who can help you work through your problems. Do a google search for 'medical phobia' and you will find all sorts of self-help and information websites as well as forums with people who you will no-doubt identify with.

In the meantime, try to see your boyfriend as the wonderful, caring healer that he is. Imagine him in saintly mode with a glowing halo, and rays of sunshine radiating from him and try to ditch any disturbing medical images you might associate with his profession. Good luck, I hope you manage to sort it out.

Char says...

A tricky one indeed, for you!

Now the first thing that springs to mind is this: Where has this fear/phobia of all things medical come from? Can you pinpoint when it began or has it always been this way? I'm afraid that there isn't much you can do immediately - unless you have the willpower of Posh spice (she doesnt eat and in my book, that's willpower equivelant of the gods!) then a sensitive issue such as this will need a little TLC to get to the root or at least, work out a solution.

You love him, right? Then you need to get talking. I know you'll feel like a silly sausage but communication is the key to one of the many doors that needs to be opened up in any relationship, especially an intimate one!

So, one thing you can look at is speaking to your doctor. Tell him/her how you feel, hopefully you won't have a complete nonentity for a physician and they may well be able to suggest some counselling to get to the root of it, or even some Cognitive Behavioural Therapy to learn new ways of coping with issues.

These seem like pretty drastic steps to take for something that's apparently so minor, but really, what your describing is self-destructive and damaging for your soul as well as your relationship. So my advice is to do one or all of the following:

1) Talk to him... be open and honest and upfront about how you are feeling. Try to place the emphasis on your own self, so that he doesn't end up feeling like poo for simply doing a job he loves - it's not his fault you have this issue, let him know that.

2) Look into counselling or different therapy options, your issue may have a deep-rooted cause that's manifesting itself in this phobia.

3)Perhaps you could join a forum and talk with people who feel the same way so that you can combat fears of freakyness, you're not the only one!

4)Confide in friends, and see what they are afraid of...

5)Perhaps you could shadow your man for the day, observe the level of cleanliness he keeps (should be high but then again, don't mean to scare ya, but we do have a bad habit of spreading MRSA about in our hospitals!)

6)Try to draw or write down your feelings, perhaps draw a spider graph to externalise your problems, sometimes it helps to see things in black and white, easier to breakdown into manageble pieces of problem to be solved!

Good luck lady, and remember you're not weird, just odd. And we like odd!

Debs says...

It'd be a shame to see four years worth of hard work into this relationship go down the pan, purely because you don't like his new job, wouldn't it?

Ok, so I'm assuming that two of the easiest options here, either he gets a new job, you get a new boyfriend, aren't really what you want to hear. Even if they are the only options you may be left with, there's still a chance to get something out of this.

A phobia is a strange thing. It has no real bearing on your life or any of the dangers you face, but they are very, very powerful. There's also, usually, a reason why that phobia developed. Something in the past that made you feel this way towards the medical profession. One option is to get some therapy to help you work through this fear. You might be able to get something through your doctor. But then again, if you hate the medical profession, you probably won't go and see your doctor, or a therapist. So you might want to think about paying an alternative therapist to help you through this. Maybe hypnotherapy.

You need to talk about this with someone and the best candidate then would seem to be your boyfriend. And when I say talk, I mean really talk. You need to identify what it is that suddenly makes this man you had the hots for so repulsive all of a sudden. It's not going to be nice or easy, but you need to find out why, before it's too late.

Alternatively, you could always start pretending that he works in a bank.

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