Your question: Is it wrong to love it when my boyf bites my nails?

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Char says...

Hey Sweety Ok first things first, sex doesnt have a 'normal' way about it. Every man woman and, erm, beast likes/dislikes gets turned on/off and over on different things - no two people are the same! We all have our kinky sides....and by that I mean if you like to deviate from good ol' missionary and do something different...

Ok so you like your man to bite your nails, not personally for me (but then I've never done it so hey, who knows, I could be missing out!) and that's good for you. You've also hit jackpot finding someone willing to accommodate you, which I can imagine isn't that easy to bring up let alone finding a willing participant.

Next thing - Achieving the big O

Ah the elusive holy grail of sex! Easy for boys, two pumps and a squirt, but for us ladies, we have to go all Derren Brown - mind tricks - in order to sqeal in ecstacy. Of course there's the element of physical foreplay, getting turned on, having the appropriate bits kissed, sucked, touched and jiggled, but for many of us, it's all about relaxing enough to let go and have the waves of pleasure bestowed upon our bits.....

It sounds like you're worried about being weird - like I said before, what floats one boat sinks another and as it appears that your boyfriend enjoys riding the wave of finger nail biting, then you really ought not to worry. I suggest you try to relax - maybe have a little chat with him about your fears, it's truly amazing what communication can do!

Talk, listen, express yourselves, then go get naked - and report back!

Good luck xxxxx

Ashley says...

My dad gave me some good advice when I started driving a car. "Other drivers are homicidal maniacs," he said. Basically, if you drive thinking that everyone else on the road will make the worst decisions, you'll be more alert - the other day I almost got crunched by a Suburban who decided to merge to the right - which is where my car was occupying space. Had I not been able to slam on the brakes - had I been cruising along thinking everyone was going to drive like angels, bad things would have happened.

What does this have to do with sex? Well, just like we think we're supposed to cruise along and have vanilla sex lives that will satisfy us. Soulful kissing, missionary position, a bit of cuddling, and then roll over and to sleep because he has a long day at the office and she's got to get her beauty rest.

That's not how the real world is, though. People merge into other people like assholes every day. And, every day, someone gets their rocks off by being spanked, pegged in the ass, watching videos of lactating women, etc. For some, it's less kinky - they can't get off unless it's doggie style, or oral.

You are not a freak. You are an adult engaging in a consensual activity that makes you feel fantastic. There is nothing freakish about that. (and you might want to start reading Dan Savage's sex column on a regular basis). You don't need to see a therapist. Just stop analyzing yourself in the sack. Be safe. And have fun.

Magda says...

Firstly, we have loads of nerve endings in our fingers and toesies, so nail biting must be one of the hottest things IMAGINABLE. Well done! Moving on...Okay, I don't get off on having my boyf bite my nails, but in the best of all ways this sounds like the kind of conversation I have with my flatmate every night. Every time one of us shyly admits to yet another thang we like, the other goes 'Me too... Huzzah!' And we're no more sexually inspired than the next girl, because let's face it, everyone is pretty raunchy once they tap into what they're about sex-wise. The thing is, when you talk about what you like, you realise that - yep - it is normal. Well, maybe not entirely normal, but certainly healthy.

I empathise with your dilemna in reaching orgasm. Women are like that. Some women don't come at all. Sometimes we come in five minutes (pretend you didn't read that, oh impatient men of the world), sometimes it's an hour in and we start clock-watching, wondering when our orgasm's going to come. Big deal. Loads of men are proud of how they can go down on a woman for an hour and think nothing of it (so long as they get something back, of course).

If it's hard for you to lose control, remember that foreplay doesn't start when the man and the woman are in the bedroom. NO WAY. Foreplay starts with anticipation, and anticipation starts with when you wake up, even if you're seeing him that evening. If you feel tense just before sex I'd definitely recommend having a warm bath before sex to loosen you up and make you feel relaxed. And do whatever it takes - if you wanna have a fantasy during sex and not tell your boyfriend, because you know it will take you there, that's fine. If it makes you feel a little safer, you can spend some love-time alone before having sex so that you're already in the mood. Also, if you normally have pretty wild-ride sex with your boyf, try slowing it down - the slower the sex, the more intense it can be, and the building anticipation of slow sex and loooong foreplay can break the most annoying control barrier.

For women, connection is the key. If you feel safe, loved and connected with your man, anything can happen. If you know your man doesn't mind waiting, it will help you feel more relaxed about achieving orgasm at your own pace, and losing control at your own pace - when your body says it's time.

And, nope, it really doesn't sound like you need to see a therapist. Not in any way!

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