Advice Column

Your question: One of my breasts is bigger than the other...

Dear Mookychick,

I'm really insecure about my breasts because one of them is quite a bit bigger than the other... I know that it's normal to have one bigger than the other, but it just seems like a big difference... I dont know what to do about it, because it gives me a bad shape and stops me from getting into intimate relationships. Do you have any advice for what I do about it?

Love, Anonymous Me xxx

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Debs says...

relationship advice We'll get the practicalities out of the way first. How big a difference is there, really? Is it a cup size, or less? Because, and I'm sure you already know this, but you could pad your bra to make them look more even. Or, better, get a friend to pad it for you.

And this shouldn't stop you getting intimate. If you can find a man who can tell the difference in the size of your breasts using his hands, than you've found a man with a very special talent indeed. I'm not entirely sure to what possible use he can put that talent, but it's a talent nonetheless.

Essentially, what I'm saying, is that this is nothing to really worry about. At all.

No one, except you, will notice the difference.

The thing is, if you weren't worried about your breasts, you'd worry about something else. Your eyebrows would be too bushy, your nose too big, your hips too wide, your ears too pointy. It's what we do, we find something that we don't like about our bodies and focus on them, all the time, to the exclusion of everything good about ourselves.

Now what I want you to do is to look at yourself a bit more objectively, and find something good about your appearance, be it your eyes, your smile, your hair, anything that you feel good about yourself. And every time you look in a mirror, look there. Straight away. And keep looking back there, every time you look at something that doesn't quite feel as good. Then you might want to find something else that you like and look there too. It's, unfortunately, easy said than done, but it does work. When you stop obsessing about certain bits that you hate, and see yourself as a whole, you find you're a much better looking person than you allow yourself to think.

Ashley says...

relationship advice See a doctor. If she thinks one of them is big enough to cause concern, then do as she tells you. If she says it's normal, then that might lessen your stress. If it's something you're perceiving, then thank your lucky stars there's nothing wrong and buy one of those silicon insert sets they sell for bra boosting and use half of it in your bra.

I doubt that anyone who wants to be naked with you is going to leap away in revulsion from you - everyone is insecure about their body and everyone worries they'll be rejected in the buff. The person you'll be intimate with, trust me, will be just as worried about the weirdness of their own body anyway.

Char says...

relationship advice Hey sweety

OK... well you're right, having one boob bigger than the other is quite normal for us ladies - not that you'd really be able to notice. In fact, I've heard that if you lean one way when you're walking it signifies that's the boob that's bigger but I strongly suspect that's a fairytale - but seriously, if it's really noticeable then there are things you can do about it. Going to your doctor about it is the first thing you can do - and don't worry about feeling embarrassed, our local Doc's seen plenty of boobs... lopsided ones, big uns, diddy ones, hairy ones....he's seen all kinds of body parts and their various functions, so he's not going to point and laugh about your chest conundrum.

You don't mention your age. If you're young then perhaps give your titties time to regroup with one another, but if you are a bit older, over 17 say, then seeing your local quack can't be a bad idea. He or she can then discuss various breast options, and together you should be able to find a resolution.

As for boys, they tend to be grateful for whatever boobage they can get so I wouldn't worry about becoming intimate with someone.

Ideally, the boy in question should have a fair idea of who you are and you should have an idea of who he is before you kids get nakey with one another, therefore unless you're an abysmal judge of character, I wouldn't have thought any boyfriend you get jiggly with should become an arsehole the minute you get your kit off.

Don't worry babe, everything can be worked upon, in one way or another, and unless you want to opt for surgery, you could also work on accepting your body for all its wonder and its flaws, to be happy with exactly the way you are. Loves

Char x

Magda says...

relationship advice You're right, having one side of your body bigger than the other is normal. Guess what? One of my breasts is bigger than the other, too. Specifically (because I'm all about specifics) my left breasts. My left eye is bigger than my right eye as well. I stopped typing to look very closely at my feet and - yep - my left foot is a tiny bit bigger than my right.

I suspect that although one of your breasts is bigger than the other, the difference is not that huge. It's the same difference that everyone has, it's just that you're paying attention to it. I could be wrong - if you truly believe it's unusually bigger, than go and get a third objective opinion (eg. from a doctor not a friend) to confirm that what you have is an above-and-beyond abnormality.

My advice would be to pretend that you haven't noticed your differing breast sizes, and carry on with life. It really won't stop you being considered attractive.

If your breasts are quite large, that in itself would be a way to lose confidence, because you'd be concerned the difference is that much more noticeable. In which case, aim to dress in a way that flatters and doesn't hide you, but don't let everything spill out, either. Your curves are here to stay. Embrace them and make them work for you.