CRUELTY TO ANIMALS: CRUELTY TO PIGEONS
by Pigeon Lady
It should be clear to everyone that pigeons need cold coffee poured on them!
WHY DO PIGEONS NEED COLD COFFEE?
- Pigeons are so used to cars and people they refuse to even fly. That's just rubbish, that is. How annoying is it when they just waggle their little legs as fast as they can?
- Pigeonshit. Is there any need to say more? Nope.
- Look at them trying to scoff your food when eating lunch outside. It's cute... for about two seconds.
- Pigeons are such bullies they've got rid of all the sparrows and starlings and other wee chirpies... in fact, pigeons have made some traditional British birds practically become an endangered species!
- God, pigeons are boring. They're so full of food they've nicked off your plate that they won't even bother to come to your window if you hang up one of those little cages full of nice birdfeed that you get in petshops. Your nuts ain't good enough for the likes of 'em.
WHAT CAN WE DO ABOUT IT?
The Mayor of London, Ken Livingston, is famous for hating pigeons and calling them 'flying rats'. He wants to do pretty mean things like hire falconers to let falcons and hawks loose in London to kill the pigeons and chase them off.
We'd never be that extreme at Mookychick. But if you have a little bit of cold coffee or tea left in your cup, or even some fizzy pop or squash, and a pigeon is just getting under your feet and giving you some attitude... wouldn't it be nice to just tip your cup ever so gently? Just to let it know who's boss?
Yes, it would. I can feel the satisfaction already...
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