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Home > CRUELTY TO ANIMALS

Sea monkey facts: 13 Reasons to love sea monkeys

sea monkeys: sea monkey facts

sea monkeys: sea monkey facts

Sea monkeys do not live in an undersea castle and wear lipstick. It's okay, people! This inspirational list of amazing sea monkey facts will help you love the brine shrimp that sea monkeys really are. Let's deal with the pain together and build a better world!

Okay, here we go...

1. Sea monkeys breathe through their legs

Freaks! That's weirder than being orange and smiley!

2. Sea monkeys are psychic

Sea monkeys are born with one eye (weird cyclops freaks) but grow two more, so by the time they're adults they have two normal eyes and a third eye. Woooooooooow.

3. Sea monkeys are stripy

Yes, even though they look tiny and boring, sea monkeys are stripey but only when you feed them. When their tiny bellies are full they get a green or brown stripe growing down their backs. Tres cool.

4. Sea monkeys are lovers, not fighters

Sea monkeys reproduce sexually and asexually. Sea monkey sex sessions can last days at a time. Hot, hot sea monkeys.

5. Sea monkeys have discovered the secret of immortality

Sea monkey egss can survive for years without water. Drop their teeny ancient egg in a thimble of water - and voila! A healthy, frisky sea monkey!

6. You CAN teach an old sea monkey new tricks

Sea monkeys are sensitive to light. It's been proved you can teach them tricks with a torch or flashlight. God, we would love to see tiny sea monkeys perform tricks in a pretty little sea monkey circus!

8. Sea monkeys are the muses of rock gods

Liz Phair croons over Sea-Monkeys in her song "Gunshy," as do the Pixies in their tune "Palace of the Brine."

9. Sea monkeys are flammable

Don't put them under a magnifying glass on a hot day. That's just mean. Also, don't ask us how we know they're flammable.

10. Sea monkeys are liars. They lie

Sea monkeys are actually a cute little brine shrimp called Artemia nyos. They're really easy to take care of and will provide you with hours of amusement and education, especially if you love torturing brine shrimp.

11. Sea monkeys hang out in gangs

A group of sea monkeys is called a squall. Teenage sea monkeys can be spotted hanging out on the streets looking menacing if a little tiny.

12. Sea monkeys have yet to learn about feminism

Male sea monkeys have pincers under their chins and use them to fight and grab things, just like stupid guys! Girl sea monkeys carry a brown egg sac on their stomachs, and male sea monkeys always ask them if they have any idea how much that egg cost and do they realise that impulse shopping is just a way of sticking a band-aid over your inner pain.

13. Sea monkeys have their own national day!

Find out how to celebrate national sea monkey day. It's on May 16th in America but in cyberspace? Bable, sea monkey national day is whenever you want it to be...

MORE: Cruelty to animals »

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Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.


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