Hunting the Cougar

Feminism: The Cougar is an older woman who prefers to date younger men. We find out more about the cougar and her not so predatory nature...

Okay, so 'cougar' is a term that's been thrown around a lot recently - especially since Demi Moore (you know, actress going out with younger man Ashton Kutcher) said she preferred to be thought of as a sultra mothersome puma not a cougar.

Cougar sounds to the untutored ear a lot like a derogatory term - a nickname applied to you as an insult - since it highlights the perceived predatory nature of an older woman who prefers the affectionate company of younger men. But doesn't that suggest that the younger man's role is merely that of a victim that requires hunting because he wouldn't choose the company of an older woman of his own accord? Doesn't 'cougar' suggest that the company of older women is somehow undesirable, and no younger man in his right mind would be seen dead with one?

Cougared, a dating site for older women and younger men who want to find each other, obviously had strong motivations for finding out more about the nature of the cougar. In fact, it turns out there are many cougars out there who are comfortable in identifying themselves as such. And, contrary to stereotype, they're by no means all sex-starved wealthy sugarmommies who prowl bars and nightclubs, looking to hire a hunk.

According to the Cougar Report, cougars aren't obssessed with emulating the predatory ways of Samantha from Sex and the City. They consider bonding to be easily as valid and empowering for all concerned as no-strings sex, and their idea of a perfect date is a home cooked meal or a cosy and familiar local restaurant. To most cougars, a Manhattan is a place you hear about in movies, not a cocktail you pour all over a writhing young torso before proceeding to drink.

It also turns out that older ladies are very rarely sugar mommas - the poll of 100 self-confessed cougars showed they were more interested in going dutch or letting a man pay for dinner. This makes sense to us - if you go on a cougar dating site because you're looking for more than just one thing, the 'who pays what' issue could be a handy way to filter out male gold diggers looking for a quick buck.

The research also gave hints as to why some older women prefer to solely date younger men in the first place. It's not for spurious aesthetic reasons - it many cases it was because older men were felt to be more jaded in their attitudes, and carry more emotional baggage. The positive outlook of a younger man could help an older woman behave in a manner that matched her emotional age, not in a manner stereotypical of her phsyical age.

Lastly, the vast majority of modern cougar women are seeking a longer term relationship with a younger man. That doesn't sound at all predatory to Mookychick. That sounds rather lovely.

Oliver Jameson, founder of dating site Cougared.com, explains to Mookychick why they created the Cougar Report in the first place:

"There are a lot of myths around about cougar women and their attitudes to men and dating. One interesting aspect of this research is the discovery that women may be comfortable with the term cougar but they are also redefining it.

"At Cougared.com, we felt it was about time someone got to the truth so that older women who date younger men are more accurately represented. Hopefully it will also help the guys get a better understanding of how to relate to them."

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