April fool news 2009
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- New washing machine for pets released in Japan.
- Fruit and nuts announce their separation and will no longer appear in bagged assortments or chocolate any more. They are still in mediation over muesli.
- Casebook, the new social networking site for true crim fans is launched. Every 100,000th member is murdered in the style of the serial killer of their choice.
- Coffee suppositories to be given to sleepy throat cancer patients.
- Frogs prescribed by doctors to cure gout.
- America hit by new hair piercing craze.
- Y is to be reclassified as a super vowel, or constewel.
- The government are announcing a Twitter Laureate who will comment on important events in the Royal Household in less than 140 characters to try to make the royals more appealing to the young.
- Nestle are to release a luxury chocolate made from red panda milk. It has a slight wicker taste.
- Scientists at the Cern project think they have discovered a fourth primary colour which could easily be mistaken for brown.
- The number seven is being abolished due to its supernatural associations, and we shall work in base 9 from now on.
- Self-boiling eggs have been developed by genetic modification.
- Malawi people offer to adopt one of Madonna’s children.
- Peaches Geldof’s new autobiography is universally acclaimed by critics. Peaches are not the only fruit.
- X-ray machines installed in all clubs to allow for display of internal tattoos.
- Pope to introduce new condoms by way of apology, with rosary attached for both stimulation and penance.
Nestle are to release a luxury chocolate made from red panda milk
New washing machine for pets released in Japan
Malawi people offer to adopt one of Madonna’s children