Emo and goth quizzes

Are you a stress merchant or a psycho bitch? Let's face it, we probably all have a few bats loose in the attic. Have you ever woken up screaming only to realize you haven't yet fallen asleep? Are you someone who can't have a crisis for at least two weeks because your schedule is already full? This flippant and utterly unscientific quiz will tell you what kind of wide-eyed loon you are so you can show off to your friends!

Answer the questions below, picking the response that best describes your behaviour (they're all a little extreme, and our behaviour depends on the situation a lot, but just pick the one closest). Once you've picked the most common responses, have a look at the spurious personality description at the end. Voila! You now know what flavour of utter psycho you really are!

You are up against a last-minute and important deadline at work / school. Do you...

Pop the caffeine pills and pull an all-nighter in a desperate attempt to meet the deadline with the best work you can achieve in the time.

Go out with your friends and then come up with a lame excuse the next day as to why you need more time.

Realise that there's no way you will ever get the work done in time and feel so anxious that you don't even get it started.

Wonder what the point of it all is anyway, as even if you did manage to get the work done it wouldn't be good enough to make the grade.

You're going out on a date with someone you've only recently met. Do you...

Spend three days plotting exactly what to wear and where to go to make the precise impression you want to convey.

Forget all about it until they text you from the pub to ask if you are still coming.

Spend forever trying on different clothes and styles trying to work out which one they might like. Having left the house you then have a crisis of confidence and go back to change again at the last minute meaning you arrive late and flustered.

Convince yourself that your date will be married, confused about their sexuality or some sort of serial killer nut-job and consider not going at all.

Someone you really fancy says something about a friend that you think is hurtful and unfair. Do you...

Cut them down to size with a torrent of choice insults and criticisms, leaving no part of their life unscathed by your scorn and/or kill them in a single blow with your mad, improvised karate skills.

Tell them they are out of order and should get to know your friend better because she's awesome, then almost instantly forget about it.

Avoid expressing any opinion, but then feel really guilty afterwards and worry that your friend might find out that you didn't stick up for her?

Realise that they probably say the same thing to your friend about you and have a good laugh behind your back.

You've been put in charge of trying to get tickets to a sold-out gig that you and your friends are desperate to go to. Do you...

Stalk the corridors of ebay, bidding on anything that comes up, whilst ringing every person you've ever met to see if they have spare tickets.

Tell your friends to relax because you'll be able to blag some spare tickets from people in the queue on the night.

Secretly worry that your friends won't like you anymore if you can't get hold of any tickets.

Realise that after all the effort to get hold of tickets the gig is bound to be a disappointment.

A new friend asks you to help her come up with a winning slogan for a competition. Do you...

Really get into the idea of winning; secretly spending all night working on slogans so you can present the best award winning idea the next day.

Start to come up with a few ideas, but then quickly get distracted by something shiny.

Worry that this is some kind of a 'friendship test'. Then get flustered because you can't think of any good slogans to help her.

Come up with an idea that she writes down, but later worry that it's actually crap and definitely won't win anything; then try to talk her out of submitting your idea.

It's your round in the pub and it's a complicated one. Do you...

Make a mental list to make sure the round is exactly right; ensuring to ask who wants ice and lemon, what flavour of alcopop they want, which brand of lager they drink and whether the Guinness should be regular or extra cold.

Get to the bar before wondering what they might want to drink and decide it would be a laugh to order surprise / random drinks for everyone to try.

Worry so much trying to remember the order that when you are asked what you want your mind goes blank. Then, trying to avoid the dagger-like gaze of the busy bar staff, have to nip back and forward to find out what drinks people want again.

Notice that everyone is ordering much more expensive drinks this round and suspect you won't have enough change from the round to afford the bus home.

You are off on holiday. Do you...

Leave for the airport in plenty of time, but then get stuck in traffic and suffer insane road rage whilst trying to make sure you are not late.

Pack at the last minute then realise half way to the airport that you've left your passport down the back of the settee.

Inwardly panic that your friends you are travelling with will get sick of you after a few days.

Become convinced there's been a flood / typhoon / earthquake and your holiday is bound to be cancelled, all the while cursing yourself for not buying holiday insurance.

It's your friend's birthday. Do you...

Spend weeks researching the absolutely perfect gift whilst simultaneously trying to plan the best party they've ever had.

Only think about it the day before and pick them up something 'fun' in the shop you happen to be in at the time.

Spend ages trying to find something you think they will like, but later on panic they won't like it and end up going back to the shops to try and find them something else.

Remember that they didn't get you anything last year, but feel obliged to buy them something anyway; realising, of course, that they'll probably hate it.

You have just been dumped by your significant other. Do you...

Take every opportunity to assassinate his/her character to everyone you know (alternatively, literally assassinate him/her).

Feel down for approximately 5 minutes before noticing that the cute guy/girl across the way.

Become convinced (s)he's dumped you because you have some permanent character / physical flaw that will prevent you from ever finding another person.

Curse yourself for ever trusting anyone in the first place.

You've heard that someone has been utterly horrible about you on their facebook / myspace / blog. Do you...

Instantly retaliate with a daily blog detailing what a poisonous, lying bitch that person is.

Shrug and mutter something about 'free speech' before forgetting about it.

Find you can't bring yourself to even look at what they've written and then worry incessantly about what they might have said.

Read it and find yourself agreeing with some of the unkind things they have said about you.

Someone that you're not even remotely attracted to comes on to you. Do you...

Cut them down with a humiliating one-liner in front of everyone.

Chat to them and get them to buy you a drink; it's their problem, not yours.

Find yourself getting off with him anyway because at least he expressed an interest.

Look around at your friends suspiciously, convinced that this is probably some kind of practical joke designed to humiliate you.

The 'how do you cope with stress' quiz

Enter the quiz to reveal your destiny

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