ARE YOU A BITCHIN' SLUT?

slut quiz We've all been there. Those moments of self doubt when we wonder if our sexual behaviour is normal, excessive or quite frankly trashy and deviant. Although Mookychick is not one to judge - far be it - we felt some sort of slapper rating would help young chickadees on their way to sex-goddessdom.

Take the slut quiz and reveal the dirty truth!

(PS if the choice buttons aren't aligning, just refresh the browser / hit F5 on your keyboard - that will sort them buggers out. Viva science!)

Quiz questions and results...

What's your dress code for a night out on the razz?
Tasteful but subtly sexy - kneelength skirt and kitten heels
Combats, trainers and a sexy cleavage-thrusting vest top with bra straps showing
A fluffy bikini top, pink miniskirt and matching pink yeti boots with accessorised lollipop
Your rubber dominatrix outfit from Anne Summers

Sexy hair is...
A slightly formal smart and glamorous 'up-do'
Clean, swooshy and carefree like the Timotei ads
Long, sexy and tousled, like you've just had a bit of a sesh in the sack
Gelled artfully into a haystack with a heady (ha!) mix of jism and snog dribble

First date undies style. Is it...
Sensible but with no VPL
Lacy, posh, grown-up and tasteful
A thong with a cheeky diamante slogan bit showing from the top of hipster jeans
No knickers. They're all in the wash

Your boyfriend wants you to dress really kinky for the first night. Is your reaction...
Maybe high heels and a bit of exposed cleavage'
Oh, not the nurses uniform again
To turn up on his doorstep wearing nothing but dark glasses, a Rigby and Peller corset and stockings under your coat
To lapdance him in a public place wearing nothing but half an outfit from Anne Summers. And then hire a couple of prostitutes to join in

Your favourite pulling clincher is...
Displaying your student union bar pass
Displaying your rolex watch and gold card
Displaying a big stash of coke to share
Displaying your pierced nipples in a crowded club

You have an embarrassing itch. Is it...
Just a bit of dandruff
Just a bit of sunburn peel
Just a bit of stubble rash on your outer labia
Just the advanced stages of gonorrhea

You've always wanted a tattoo. Where and what would it be?
God, no. You'd never have a tat. They're for tradesmen and squaddie types
A dolphin on your hip bone
'Horny hussy' tattooed across your buttock
'Horny hussy' tatooed across your forehead

First shag etiquette. Do you make sure...
You have a ring on the 4th finger of your left hand
You fancy him
You've shampooed and thoroughly conditioned your minge
He's alive

Where do your sexual boundaries end?
Sex with the lights on
Sex with a member of your immediate family
Sex with animals
Mars

You see a hottie across a crowded room. Do you...
Ignore him. It's always good to play hard to get
Sidle past on your way to the bar, brushing him lightly with your favourite 'lucky' bosom and smile lingeringly
Remove your nicks in the loo and sit facing him crossing and uncrossing your legs a lot
Blue jack a load of filthy pr0no suggestions and hope it gets to the right mobile

Your favourite chat up line is...
I really like pizza
I really like your eyes
I really like your ass
I really like being porked up the shitter

What's your favourite tipple?
A nice bottle of peach archers
A nice bottle of Chardonnay
A nice bottle of Perrier Jouet
A nice bottle of Mad Dog 40/40

What's the worst thing you've ever got up to when sloshed?
Been sick down the loo
Been sick in your handbag in a taxi
Been party to a threesome
Been spit-roasted by a football team

What wouldn't you ever do on a first date?
Go anywhere you might be alone together
Eat onions and garlic
Shag
Ever get asked out on a second date

What's your orgasm style?
What's an orgasm?
Seen but not heard
Loud and proud but keeping it real, if you know what we mean
Decibel-breaking, neighbourhood-shaking pr0n flick display regardless of how pissed you are and how little you can feel

You think dogging is...
All about dog breeding
All about footballers
All about car parks
All about finding a boyf with a good little runner

If you were kidnapped and taken aboard a pirate ship how would you cope?
Swim to shore, regardless of the sharks
Keep texting your mates to save you
Enjoy all the free rum but fashion a makeshift chastity belt out of anchor chain
One girl and 15 blokes? Partay!

Amber oil and toothpaste are all about
Personal hygiene
Don't know, but I'm intrigued
A great sexual reputation
Hippies who brush their teeth

A guy you fancy is feeling you up, but you're in the office. What do you do?
Complain and have him up for a sexual harassment tribunal asap
Suggest he goes to the loo for a wank
Suggest you go to the loo with him for a wank
Screech 'Oh Geoffrey, you are awful', while holding his hand there for as long as possible

Rimming is...
Something to do with cleaning spectacles
Something sexual, but your not sure quite what
Something boys do to boys
Something that gives you bad

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Mission statement

Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.


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