Pregnancy symptoms - the embarrassing bits

by Milly Bernice

There are some good things about pregnancy - the end result, nice people letting you have their seat on buses, and partners so worried that you might explode in a gush of hormones that they do your bidding willingly. However there are some pregnancy symptoms you might not be so keen on. Read on - even if you're not up the duff, pregnancy symptoms are interesting stuff!

Pregnancy and Flatulence

Many women find that the pressure of their bump onto the intestines causes them to break wind frequently. For some this happens only for a short while until the baby moves, others may find that this plagues them throughout. There are two main ways to deal with this.

Brazen it Out: Best for those who can pull one of those looks that says "I'm pregnant, speak if you dare."

Denial: Ignore it and perfect a look that makes you look so angelic they won't believe you've ever broken wind.

Needing the Loo (a lot)

Pregnancy means that in some way, or other, you will know your bathroom very well. The only real solution is to make sure you're always close to the ladies, and though many small shops don't have public facilities, if you're really in need do try asking. Sadly you aren't really allowed to commandeer a police helmet to pee in, that's just urban myth.

Fainting during pregnancy

Make sure you get seen by your midwife or GP as soon as possible if you faint or feel lightheaded. However, for most it isn't an indication of anything sinister, it just happens to be a way your body deals with pregnancy. If you feel unwell and you have enough time to get someone's attention you need to be really direct about the situation. When it comes to getting hints, or being observant, the general public are as a whole, a bit dim. That said though they may not get hints very well people are generally helpful.

Crying during Pregnancy

Sorry, but this won't end once that baby is outside of you. You will cry because the puppies in the toilet paper advert were having fun playing/your partner made you dinner/the man on the bus didn't notice the other man waving to him. Anything could trigger the tears. Hay fever, colds and air conditioning are the best excuses in situations where crying would be really inappropriate. Always carry tissues whilst ensuring you avoid twee afternoon movies and any programme where something cute nearly dies.

Pregnancy, Food Aversions and Cravings

Not everyone gets cravings and through the course of the pregnancy your cravings might change. For most people they will be for regular food. Some veggies may be horrified to discover that all of a sudden they crave meat/fish; don't worry it is quite common. Some people will suffer from cravings for unusual substances such as charcoal and mud. This is known as Pica and, though it might put your partner off kissing you after you've been scavenging in the garden, it mostly will do you no harm. Do tell your midwife though, especially if you have cravings for dangerous things like glass or lead.

Aversions are generally down to scent. Women already have more sensitive senses of smell, but during pregnancy olfactory abilities increase in power. However, the stronger smell skill plus all those hormones may mean that something you ordinarily adore becomes disgusting. If your sense of smell restricts you to a very small diet- for the last 20 weeks I could only eat macaroni cheese -then you need to talk to your midwife to make sure you get all the nutrients you and the baby need.

Forgetfulness during Pregnancy

Walking into rooms and forgetting what you went in there for will become second nature in pregnancy. Lists, diaries, Outlook reminders and phone alarms - use them all.

Does forgetfulness go away after pregnancy? Given that I only remembered to write this bit on the fourth rewrite, I think we can safely say no.

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Milly Bernice spends her time fantasising that she is Lucille Ball reborn. When not grappling a small ginger toddler she jointly runs an IT consultancy. Her personal blog can be found at www.laraloola.co.uk.