Self defence: A Girl's Guide to Being Safe

by Autumn Christian

Street safety is a really sticky topic. Even the experts disagree on how best to handle self defence. The best you can do is (a) be aware of your surroundings, and (b) read as much on the topic as you can and consider your options. So here goes...

Any girl who's had a brother or a guy friend is aware of the double standard when it comes to staying safe. Have you ever felt as if little brother can stroll down the street at midnight in the dead of the winter in gang territory, but you have difficulty stepping off the balcony without your grandmother having a near seizure? Just because you're a girl doesn't mean you can't have fun. Once you're equipped with the right self-defence knowledge you'll feel more confident going out, and feel more confident in handling trouble if it ever comes your way.

Self Defense Weapons

For the sake of public safety we can't walk around with dueling flintlock pistols, baseball bats or lightsabers. Whatever weapon you carry for self-defence should be easily concealed in your clothing, accessible, and legal.

Many girls purchase pepper spray to protect themselves, but then the pepper spray usually becomes sucked into the black vortex of a purse. Attackers usually jump girls when they least expect it, and a typical violent encounter lasts only a few seconds. This is not enough time to search through the contents of a purse. If you purchase pepper spray, keep it in your jacket pocket so it is within reach if you ever need it. Some pepper sprays come with a clip so that they can be attached to a keyring.

Be aware that pepper spray has an expiration date on the can, typically nine to twelve months, and may not fire properly if used past that time. For an alternative to pepper spray, you can pick up a wasp or hornet killer spray from most general convenience stores. It will spray to a further distance, but is more bulky than pepper spray, so keep it within reach in your car or beside your bed.

A Kubotan is a small, self defence weapon that can be carried on a keyring. It's about the size of a pen, and can be used to defend yourself against attackers by punching them with it in the throat, eyes, knuckles, groin and ribs.

Though you usually can't carry a baseball bat down the street, a cane is a legal alternative that works just as well. It might not be very fashionable, unless you're feeling a touch steampunk or victoriandustrial, but packs a lot of power when swung.

Feel free to keep a phone and a self defence weapon beside your bed before going to sleep, especially if you live in a particularly crime-infested area or are sleeping in an unfamiliar place. If someone attacks you during your sleep, then you have a weapon to defend yourself, and can also call the police for help.

Be Aware of Your Surroundings

Now, in real terms, being aware of your surroundings is far more important than carrying a weapon. As the police are (rightly) at pains to point out, it's illegal to carry a weapon, it tends to escalate a situation when brought out into the open, and it can be turned against you if you're inexperienced in its use (and we certainly hope you are inexperienced in its use).

Criminals tend to target people who aren't paying attention, as these are the easiest people to catch off guard and blindside. Whenever you enter an area, do a quick scan of the place to make sure everything seems safe and there are no suspicious characters lurking about. Keep your head up, take out the mp3 player headphones, and pay attention to where you are going. Not only does this help you look out for people who might be looking to make you their next victim, but it often prevents you from being targeted in the first place. Criminals usually go for the easiest victim, and if you are alert and looking around, then you have suddenly become a more difficult target.

Many girls, especially if they are shy like myself, have got into the habit of walking with their heads down and shoulders slumped. It may take a lot of practice to walk like you are confident, and will probably feel unnatural at first. Your head may feel too high, your shoulders too far back, but it will become more instinctive the more you practice. Instead of looking at your feet while you walk, pick a far away object to focus on so you keep your head up, while making note of any sudden movement or noises nearby that may alert you to danger. Straighten your shoulders and back so that you don't look like you're curled inward, but instead projecting your body outwards. This will alert criminals and attackers of your inner strength, even if they aren't always aware of why they choose to pass you by.

If you go to a location and your instinct kicks in and tells you something is wrong, don't ignore it. In Gavin De Becker's "The Gift of Fear", Becker explains that often this "gut instinct" is actually clues of danger registered by our subconscious that our conscious mind doesn't pick up at the time. This gut instinct is probably warning you of potential danger. If you walk into a crowded party or someone's home, and suddenly feel sick or panicky - and you know it's nothing to do with any other shyness reflexes you might have - it's probably best to leave.

There is no shame in crossing the street to avoid someone, or pausing in a well-lit and life-filled area until they go past, or in the very worst instance, knocking on someone's door for aid. If it's night, do pick a house with its lights on. You want your aid-givers to be in, not out.

Be like the shampooed cat

My Kung Fu instructor wasn't your typical aged and enigmatic guru. With his history in sales, he didn't speak in riddles, but understood that people needed to understand self defence on a basic level. One of his favourite things to say was "have you ever tried to shampoo a cat?" Cats generally dislike anyone trying to give them a bath, and though cats are much smaller than people, their hissing, writhing and clawing makes them a formidable opponent.

Though technique is important, my Kung Fu instructor emphasized the importance of psychological intimidation in combat as well. Even if you can't overpower a 200 lb ex-wrestler, you can give them the idea that maybe you're the wrong girl to be messing with. If you're ever attacked, make as much noise as possible. Scream, growl, and tell the attacker to "get your hands off of me!" as loudly and clearly as possible. Not only does this alert anyone nearby that something is wrong, but imagine an attacker's reaction when a petite girl suddenly lets out an animalistic and aggressive growl. This tactic can be especially useful for a girl without a lot of practice in technique. Sound doesn't just make you less of an easy target - it alerts others to your predicament.

The other important tactic is to never stop moving. If you stop moving, it's easy for an attacker to get you into a lock or pin you down. It's difficult to hold onto a shampooed cat that is constantly writhing. So even if you get tired, keep struggling, and keep breathing.

KISS, and a few self defence techniques all girls should know

Though the martial arts moves in the movies are beautiful to look at it, they're a piece of art, not reality. When we're in danger, we resort to our lowest level of training. That complicated scissor take-down you learned in your martial arts class? Unless you've practiced it for hours over and can perform it in your sleep, don't attempt it when you're actually in danger. When adrenaline is flowing through our bodies, it's easy to slip up on techniques that require fine motor skills and concentration. Remember the principal of KISS, or Keep It Simple, Silly and you're less likely to be paralyzed with fear.

Try practicing some of these self defence techniques:

* A simple technique that my Kung Fu instructor taught to the six week basic self defence classes was the "easy button," or a palm strike to the face. With an open palm, fingers curled into a claw, strike an opponent to the face in one quick movement. This will cause instant pain and make the eyes water up, obstructing an attacker's eyesight.

* If your attacker tries to choke you, tuck your chin down so that your windpipe can't be obstructed. If someone grabs you in a hold, bending back their little fingers will hurt and stand a good chance of making them relinquish their hold. No matter how strong they are, they probably have substantially less power in their little finger than elsewhere.

* Scratch or strike any vulnerable parts of the idea, including the ears, eyes, face, throat, and kidneys. Avoid the stomach, as the attacker will probably tense up if you hit him there.

* Box the ears. Just like you've seen in the old movies, take the flat bottoms of your palms and strike the attacker on his ears.

* Eye gouging is not for the faint of heart, but if you're in a life or death situation, it can help you get away from an attacker that otherwise can easily overpower you. In order to properly gouge the eyes, press your thumbs into the sides of the eye sockets, dig down, and pop out like you're opening a box lid. Be prepared for screaming and blood, so only do this if you feel your life is being threatened.

What NOT to do:

Self defence is a hot topic, and there are many charlatans and so-called experts dispensing self defence advice that is suspect or just plain wrong. The truth is that there is no guaranteed method of defence, and even the most experienced martial art practitioners and self defence experts can be caught off guard at a bad time. However, to improve your chances, here are a few self defence tips to generally avoid:

"Leave a weapon in your purse or carry a concealed weapon". DON'T. Just because you have a weapon doesn't automatically mean you can use it to defend yourself. Like I said before, a typical violent encounter lasts only a few seconds. This is not enough time to rummage through your purse or pull out a concealed weapon. If you carry a weapon at all, it must be instantly accessible, preferably in a jacket pocket or keyring.

"Carry car keys between your fingers". Most women who carry their car keys to defend themselves will place the key between the knuckles of their index.

"Go for the groin". DON'T - AT LEAST, NOT AT FIRST. This advice has been dispensed so often that it's become a cliche. Most men know you're going to go for the groin. They'll have it well protected, either with their hands or with their stance. Go for the eyes, the face, or the throat first. Striking the groin usually only works as a secondary tactic, after the attacker is caught off guard. A general rule to follow is not to go for the groin unless it's convenient, and only after attacking another vulnerable body part.

"Do what the bad guy asks". DON'T. No, no, and no. I can not say this enough times. NEVER give the bad guy what he wants, unless it's your purse. If it's your purse, then throw it down on the ground so he's forced to bend down to pick it up. Then you run. But if he wants to take you somewhere, then always refuse, even if he has a weapon pointed at you. If you go with a criminal, he will most likely take you to a secluded location where he can rape and/or murder you. At least in a public or semi-public area, you have a chance of getting away. If you get carjacked, then do whatever you can to crash the car. If the criminal takes you to a secluded place, then you have an almost zero chance of getting away scot-free.

DON'T be pressured into doing anything you don't want to do. Most people know that one friend who just won't take "no" for an answer. That person who will keep asking hoping that you will eventually cave in to their requests - even if just to shut them up. Most people generally don't like other people to be unhappy, so will often say "yes" to repeated requests. This is a mistake, and it can get you caught up in a dangerous situation just because you wanted to be nice. Since girls are taught to be polite and helpful, bad guys often use this to their advantage. And they know that after the first "yes", getting subsequent a "yes" out of you is that much easier. If you say no, let that person know that you mean it by being firm and refusing to have any more discussion on the topic.

You will find even more information and conversation on the topic of self defence here: Mookychick Messageboard - self defence tips for women

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