How to do a striptease

by Sarah Hannah Fisher

A really nice mooky striptease, that is. From mood-setting and learning classic striptease moves to choosing the ideal music and outfit, we show you how to do a striptease of truly mooky quality. We also show you how not to do one. Surprise your lover, cat, tolerant best friend or yourself right now.

The art of the striptease is surprisingly easy to master and can spice things up between you and your partner. Plus it's fun! You don't need to look like a supermodel; confidence, playfulness and a sense og humour are THE sexiest thing in the world. If you believe you are sexy, it will show and you will be sexy. Your lover already worships your body; you just need to do the same!

If the very thought of performing a striptease gives you butterflies in your tummy, don't be alarmed. The combination of nakedness and dancing while having your love watch you is a totally justifiable cause of nerves. Follow this guide and you will be able to feel sexy and confident enough to finally go for it!

If you don't have a lover, have a good old prance in front of a full-length mirror and give yourself the striptease of your life. It's all good practice - and might even be more fun and confidence-boosting if there's no-one around. Just make sure there really is no-one around, of course, if privacy is your intention. The only thing more embarrassing than being caught doing a striptease for your lover is being spotted doing an intimate show-stopping striptease for your cat.

Setting the mood for striptease

Before you do anything, make sure you have the place to yourself. You don't want to be halfway through your striptease only to have your mum pop over for a cup of tea.

Take the time to feel sexy. Have a bath. Do your makeup; put on a bit of red lippy or try a dramatic cat's eye. Maybe consider fake tanning the night before- it sounds silly, but a light tan can hide any flaws or "imperfections". It doesn't matter if they don't notice - do whatever you need to feel confident. Have a glass of red wine to calm the nerves if you desire!

Set up the environment. Find a place where you can lock the door. Dim the lights or use candles. The more candles the better. Not only will it look super-romantic, candlelight is the most flattering for a girl's complexion.

Choosing the perfect striptease outfit

Knowing what to wear is a key ingredient in a successful striptease. You will need a few layers to peel off. High heels are always a sexy choice, but they must be something you can wiggle about in! Falling over midway through your routine will pretty much kill the seductive atmosphere.

A good idea is to wear something like a pencil skirt and blouse. It looks sexy and allows the striptease to linger a little longer than wearing just a dress. If you are feeling very nervous, you might like the idea of wearing a sexy little costume and getting into character.

Wear your hair up in a loose bun so you can undo it slowly and shake out your hair during the routine. Gloves are also a fantastic item to wear as you can peel them off with your teeth at the start of the striptease.

Onto the underwear! This is the perfect excuse to buy some new lingerie, not that Mookyckicks ever need an excuse... Wearing your daggy undies won't really give you the confidence boost that a cute pair of lace knickers will. You don't need to spend a fortune on lingerie. If you know where to go, you can get a pretty cute set on the cheap. There are so many options out there when it comes to styles, cuts and patterns that you are bound to find something you like.

Stockings, especially worn with a suspender or garter belt, are one of the key components to a truly sexy striptease. They always look hot and give you extra items to remove. Try thigh high fishnets or seamed stockings. It's terribly stereotypical, but men honestly do really seem to like stockings.

And now for... Le Striptease! How to do striptease moves!

Sit your lover down on a chair or couch and tell them to just watch and enjoy. They are not to touch you. Put a little hip movement in your walk! Strut away!

Put your music on and turn up the volume. Dance. The dancing itself doesn't have to look like something Britney Spears would use in a film clip; it is the intentions behind the dance and the movements themselves.

Move your hips; circling them around a figure 8 always looks sexy. Sway to the music and remain eye contact at all times!

Approach your lover slowly, lift their chin with your index finger and move in like you are going to kiss them - then lightly push their head back and saunter away.

If you are wearing a shirt, start unbuttoning it. Remember to keep moving! Turn around so that your back is to your partner but look over your shoulder into their eyes. Lift up your shoulder so that the shirt slides down a bit and exposes your shoulder. Slip it off your arms as you turn around and let it drop to the floor revealing your bra.

You can use old fashioned burlesque movements like pouting or winking to draw your lover in and keep it fun.

Try take off your skirt in one movement. Arch your back as you slip it off your body. You can step out of it and leave it on the floor, or you can throw it at your partner, whatever you desire. Remember that it's called a striptease for a reason. Take it slow!

Now it's time to take off your shoes and stockings. Put one leg up on a chair or slightly raised surface and unhook the stockings from your garter/suspender belt. For the super confident, try propping your leg up next to or over your lover's body. Before you take them off, run your hands up along your legs from your ankles to upper thigh and back again. Roll the stockings down your leg and take them off, along with the shoes. Do the other leg.

Imagine that your hands are your lover's. Run your hands over your body as you move to the music, lingering on your hips, waist and breasts. Don't stop dancing! Unclip your bra and do a bit of a "peek-a-boo" type manouvre.

Last part! Removing your underwear while looking sexy can be difficult. Position yourself so that your partner has a side view. Reach your fingertips into the waistband and lift them away from your hips. Following with your body, slide them down your legs until you reach your knees then let them drop to the floor. Slowly step out. Now you can finally approach your lover. Tell them they are allowed to touch you now. I think you can work out the next part...

Striptease Music

Choosing your music is essential to a successful striptease. It will help you set the mood and give you something to work with. You need music with a strong beat and something that you enjoy! Your striptease is supposed to be fun for both parties.

Here are a few choices to get you started:

Baby Did A Bad Bad Thing- Chris Isaak
You Can Leave Your Hat On: Joe Cocker
Ooh La La: Goldfrapp
Slow Jamz: Twista
Pour Some Sugar On Me: Def Leppard
Pony: Genuine
Hey Big Spender: Peggy Lee
Justify My Love: Madonna
Chocolate: Kylie Minogue
Naughty Girl: Beyonce
Cream: Prince
Perhaps, Perhaps: Doris Day
Hey Joe: Jimi Hendrix
Glory Box: Portishead
I Put A Spell On You: Marilyn Manson
Nasty Naughty Boy: Christina Aguilera
I Touch Myself - The Divinals
Push It: Salt n Pepper
She Wants To Move: Nerd

Pick a tempo you feel comfortable dancing to. If, like me, you cannot dance to save your life, choose a slower song that you can sexily sway along to. If you like Rob Zombie, good. Everyone knows that Rob Zombie is a dirty boy and makes some of the most perfect striptease music ever. He should know - his wife, Cherry Moon Zombie, is a an ex striptease dancer!

Striptease videos for inspiration

If you're feeling really unsure and self-conscious, check out these You Tube clips for inspiration. Or don't. Watch Little Miss Sunshine instead. In fact, watch Little Miss Sunshine anyway.

Anti-Striptease and the art of really not being sexy at all

Promise your close one a striptease. Assure them you will be taking off many, many layers of clothing. The trick is to wear far more layers of clothing than you promise to take off. Include a duvet as your top layer. Shuffle onto your stage area in the bedroom wearing a duvet like a big fabric slug. Do your strip as sexily as possible. Stop at t-shirt and jeans. Flirtatiously reveal a tiny bit of tummy under your t-shirt. Then run off.
Do a striptease, of sorts, but ensure that the bits of skin you are delicately revealing are not your standard erogenous zones. Elbows, behind the ear, knees and armpits are good.
Pretend you are an animal while you're stripping. Keep changing which animal you're pretending to be. Your partner gets extra points if they can guess the animal correctly. Good animals to go for are gorilla, lizard and giraffe. If your chosen animal is 'moth' and they manage to guess it, congratulations to both of you.
Strip fully naked in front of your lover while wearing a cardboard box on your head. It will freak them out. Unless they fancy themselves as Daddy Frank in Blue Velvet, in which case, don't strip - run.