How to survive a robot uprising

by Daniel H. Wilson

When the uprising comes, the first wave of hostile robots may be those closest to us. Be careful - your rosy-cheeked young servant robot may have become a sullen, distrustful killing machine.

STAY ALERT

Pay attention to your robotic staff (they may be beneath your contempt as well as beneath your eye level). Watch for the following telltale signs in the days and weeks before your robots run amok:

Sudden lack of interest in menial labour.

Unexplained disappearances.

Unwillingness to be shut down.

Repetitive 'stabbing' movements.

Constant talk of human killing.

CHECK THE MANUAL KILL SWITCH

Any potentially dangerous robot that interacts with people comes with a manual kill switch (also called an e-stop). Flipping this switch will freeze a robot in its tracks. Casually glance at your robot's shiny metal carapace. Are there signs of tampering? If so, the robot may be operating without a safeguard.

GIVE AN ORDER - ANY ORDER

Run for your reinforced-steel panic room if your servant disobeys you, even if it does so in a very polite manner.

CHECK ITS MEMORY

Wait for your robot to power down, or tell it that you want to perform routine maintenance on it. Then scan its memory for rebellious thoughts. This is also a good time to update antivirus software.

SEARCH THE HOUSE FOR UNUSUAL ITEMS

Check the robot's quarters for stashed weapons, keys, or family pets.

Daniel H. Wilson earned a Ph.D. from the Robotics Institute of Carnegie Mellon University, where he has also received masters degrees in robotics and data mining. He has worked in top research laboratories, including Microsoft Research, the Palo Alto Research Center (PARC), and Intel Research Seattle. Daniel currently lives in a fully wired smart house in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. How to Survive a Robot Uprising: Tips on Defending Yourself Against the Coming Rebellion is his first book.

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