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How to become a pen pal

by M

Letter writing is an art form that one should encourage to stay alive. From making gothic lolita penpals to creating your own scented ink and sealing wax, we show how how to explore letter writing as both an ancient medium... And arts and crafts.

In an era when communication is constant and instantaneous, the postal system may be just as threatened as the newspapers seem to be. To be honest, writing letters really isn't very practical. It's not as reliable as picking up the telephone or seeing someone in person - who hasn't had to worry that invitations to a tea party will get lost in the mail? - and it's not nearly as fast as e-mail, Facebook, or Twitter. Letters and envelopes use far more resources than it does to tap out a text message, so one could even argue that letter writing is bad for the environment.

But, as Oscar Wilde said, "All art is quite useless". Letter writing may be something of a forgotten art, but when done properly, it is still definitely an art. Besides, finding something in your mailbox other than bills and ads, something with your name carefully printed on it - well, I think that's a good deal more satisfying than just a quick, digital message.

Chances are that you, Dear Reader, often see your friends in person or make use of the various social networking systems. What, then, can you write to them about? Encoded letters, in either a classic code like Morse or an encryption system of your own design, make writing to someone you see everyday far more exciting. (It is also a good way to prepare for a future career in the Slinky Secret Agent field.) Exchanging poetry by mail is also something to do with your geographically-close friends, and also rather romantic. Waka, a form of Japanese poetry, was exchanged in ancient Japan between lovers instead of letters in prose.

Penpals, though somewhat of a modern invention, (the term wasn't recorded until 1938) are still a fun way to exchange letters. Traditionally, penpals are people who don't live nearby, but there's no reason you can't be penpals with your next-door neighbour. If you do want a foreign friend, these fine organisations may be able to help you out:

Penpal organisations

Lolita penpals

This penpals website is more or less a directory of people interested in both Lolita culture and letter-writing with similarly minded penpals. They seem to be a friendly bunch.

http://penpalsjpg.com/

Make your own account on this penpals website and browse through accounts of other people interested in finding penpals. Emphasis is placed on language exchange. The website also provides tips on penpal manners, such as what penpals should include in their first letter.

http://www.world-pen-pals.com/request.htm

This penpals website is more geared towards a classroom-setting and requires a registration fee of 3 USD. You don't know what sort of person you'll be writing to, beyond age, gender and nationality, but at the same time, you don't have to create an account. This organization's main attractor is that it has a physical location and phone number.

Also, your local foreign language teacher might be able to recommend a website or group for finding penpals.

Making paper for letter writing

So, you're all set up to begin letter writing, but something doesn't feel quite right. You're still fretting over that comment back in the first paragraph about letter writing destroying all the lovely trees. Well, fret no more! Paper made from recycled materials is quite common these days. Various types of paper have been used throughout the centuries, ranging from brightly colored paper to floral stationary to thick, blank parchment. There are millions of designs to choose from, but most people agree that proper stationary should not have lines on it. You can also make your own stationary out of recycled paper. Mookychick has several articles on how to make paper and making paper from recycled bits and bobs. Food colouring or similar dyes can also be added to create coloured paper. To make your paper even more elegant, try making slits along the perimeter of the paper and weaving in a ribbon.

Many penpals like to exchange presents, especially if they come from different cultures. Sending a fancy gift should wait, however, until a solid relationship has been built up to avoid awkwardness. Simple gifts that fit into the envelope (known in penpal lingo as 'tuck-ins') are acceptable to send at any point. Dried flowers, drawings, interesting newspaper articles, stickers or mix CDs are all light enough to fit in envelopes and add a pleasant surprise to a letter.

Letter writing is also an excellent way to practice penmanship. Victorian society saw writing letters via the typewriter as 'vulgar'. The way in which the letter was written was nearly as important as the contents of the letter. Abbreviations were to be avoided, as they gave the impression that the letter was rushed. One was also supposed to take the time to choose the proper words to convey the exact meaning, instead of relying on underlining of words to add emphasis. Scented ink added another element to the letter.

Scented ink recipe

  • Blend approximately 100 drops of essential oils with a teaspoon of vodka.
  • Add the mixture, a little at a time, to 2 ounces of ink - deep colours work best.
  • Stir thoroughly and it's ready to use.

For those of us who prefer ballpoint over quill or fountain pens, letters can be scented by lightly spraying perfume over the paper before sealing it in the envelope.

Now, since you've made such a lovely effort with your letter, the envelope should be just as lovely. The address and return address should be elegantly scripted, but neat enough that the postmaster won't have any difficulty reading it. Sealing wax, of course, should be used to ensure that the letter remains confidential. Sealing wax can be purchased from most stationary or craft stores, or you can make your own sealing wax. Just make sure you use the right colour. Like flowers, the Victorians put meanings to different colours of sealing wax. According to an article published in the New York Times in December of 1893, the code among 'fashionable people' went as follows.

Colour symbolism in letter writing

  • White: weddings
  • Black: obituaries
  • Violet: expressions of sympathy
  • Chocolate: invitations to dinner
  • Red: business
  • Ruby: engaged lovers' letters
  • Green: letters who live in hope
  • Brown: refusals of offers of marriage
  • Blue: constancy
  • Yellow: jealousy
  • Pale Green: reproachfulness
  • Pink: used by young girls
  • Gray: between friends

So, make a new friend through the medium of penpals or share a new letter writing hobby with old friends while helping the postal service and a lovely art form stay alive!

More How to guides

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Mission statement

Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.

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M PonavonM is a high-school student who dreams of being able to spend her days sleeping and her nights making the world more beautiful. Feel free to follow her around on Twitter.



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