Beginning to feel self-conscious about my gothic style
I’m seventeen years old, and since I was 12 I have absolutely loved gothic, emo punk and steampunk clothing. When I was thirteen, I changed the way I dressed, and started wearing a mixture of the above styles, which really made me happy. I loved the way I dressed. It made me feel special, like I was not just another sheep in the flock. But lately, whenever I go out in public, I start to feel really self-conscious. I find myself avoiding large crowds and people I don’t know. I don’t understand this – it has never happened before. I have always been the type of person who doesn’t care what people think, and the way I dress is really quite demure compared to other goth/emo/punk/steampunk chicks out there. In the past, I was fine being me in public… but now something has gone wrong. I tried going back to wearing “normal” clothing for a while, but it made me really depressed, as it just wasn’t me. I’ve found that I have been toning down my look, making my clothes more non-descript and wearing less make up and jewelry in public in an attempt to feel more comfortable, but it is really getting me down, as it feels unnatural. How can I get over this? I love the way I dress, and don’t want to change it, but I can’t help but feel self conscious.
Love, Anonymous Me xxx
The Mookychick answer to your problem
First of all, if you’ve been dressing out of the ‘ordinary’ and, like you said, ‘not another sheep in the flock’ at the age of 13 – where everything you do is being criticised by someone – then let me start by saying WELL DONE! Yes, well done for the confidence and courage you had at that age to dress the way you feel comfortable.
It’s been four years since you started dressing the way you love, and now you say you are feeling more uncomfortable and less confident each time you go out. My first thought is to try and pinpoint what changed to make you feel this way.
Is it when you are on your own in public?
Is it when you’re not in an environment you know particularly well?
Has something happened to you because of the way you dress, or to someone you know?
Or is something else? When you are taming down your emo look, does a less individual look make you feel more comfortable in crowds?
Does your family mind the way you dress?
I really believe that if you are able to answer these questions you will get to the bottom of it and hopefully find a way to overcome this. Also, if you are not comfortable in ‘normal’ clothing, then don’t wear it! It will only make you feel worse and you shouldn’t overly compromise your style to suit other people.