Sexy Cyclist?

by Rebecca Lori

Why get a bike? It's toning. It's cheaper. It's exhilerating. Even the hills and sweat patches. Even the "Cor blimey, I've never seen that before... a woman's arse" comments from white van men won't put you off. Rebecca does the right thing and buys a bike (and gives you some cycling tips while she's at it). London's Mayor would approve! Just don't look at her sweat patches. Or her arse.

After spending what felt like a month stuck on a bus, I finally made a conscious decision to take to the road myself. I would dig deep into my fairly shallow (and lint-ridden) pockets and buy my friend's super cool road bike.

Now, before I start I need to tell you that this isn't going to be one of those 'evil cars vs. saintly cyclist' articles - sorry Boris. But I am still hoping that cyclists will relate to what I have to say and maybe even sympathise.

Anyway. I gave said bike a good old test run, and after cycling down a one-way street and crashing into a curb, I decided that cycling is definitely not something I should legally be allowed to do - but bought the little bugger anyway.

I'd forgotten how much fun cycling could be - I tried whizzing down mountains, panting up hills and weaving in and out of traffic with a distinct air of smugness - it was great, I felt that nothing could go wrong.

Unfortunately I was soon to discover that my whimsical cycling was pretty short-lived. After leaving my flat I took to the roads and things were going well until a huge, dirty white van pulled up next to me and shouted "cor would you look at that"?

I didn't think anything of it until I carried on with my commute and encountered another three vans full of bored men making not-so 'creative' comments about my bum. Now, I am not a prude and I certainly don't mind getting a mention now and again - hell, I love a nice compliment. But when I am trying to concentrate on not cycling into the pensioner crossing the road, I really don't need a van-load of Chas and Daves giving me running commentary about my backside. Sorry boys - there's a time and a place for that.

It just got me thinking - is it still novel to see female cyclists on the road? Is this why some men can't help but shout 'cor blimeys' at us? It really baffles me what men find sexy and I fail to see how someone wearing a large plastic helmet and sporting sweat patches in places where one should never have sweat patches is hot?

If you're one of these offenders, do me a favour - concentrate on the backside of a bus instead.

Top tips for cyclists

. Put a lid on it - yes, we know that wearing a helmet doesn't look very cool, but it'll save your skull should you get knocked off your bike. Buy a BMX Helmet, which is super-cool and safe. You can go for a sleek look or customise it with stickers and graffiti.

. Be seen - cars speeding down the road need to see you, so invest in some hi-vis clothing and lights for your bike.

. Avoid listening to your mp3 player - it's tempting but you'll lose valuable concentration.

. Watch out for pedestrians - they tend to walk right in front of you, even if you're bombing downhill. Get a bell for your bike or even better, a horn!

. Use bicycle and bus lanes whenever possible - they're much safer and cars will give you plenty of space.

. Remember that you have as much in the way of road rights as other vehicles. Take your time and don't worry if you're holding up buses or cars behind you... they can wait.

. Stand up and cycle occasionally - this way you'll not only have strong thighs but a nice toned backside too!

. If you don't feel safe, get off - if the mere thought of a multi-lane roundabout makes you tremble in fear, get off and walk across the road.

. Don't drink and ride - your judgement will be severely impaired, which is bound to cause accidents.

. Buy a good lock - evil bike thieves are rife, don't give them an easy target. D-locks are made of metal that's much harder to saw or cut through. Make sure you lock your bike in such a way that thieves can't just lift your bike over whatever you've locked it to. Also, if you've got a nice bike, invest in a lock for your front wheel (which is easily removed and worth money). You can wear that lock round your waist while you ride - a good look.

. Take your time and enjoy it - cycling is a cheaper and often faster way of getting around, especially once you've practised enough to get your speed up. Sit back and enjoy the ride - at least you're not crammed on a sweaty underground tube!

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