Rantitude... Women are wild game

by Deb

Women are wild game and the men hunters who wouldn't be able to hit their target from a 10cm distance. They try, really they do, but still...

I can understand it's hard for them. After all, they are the ones that have to go through all the trouble, they have to come from behind of their bushes, take their carefully chosen camouflage off and look their prey in the eye. And then the ultimate question rises: will she stay? Or will she go?

The answer is simple: almost always, she will go.

You men may have figured out that you are the ones that have to put themselves out there (I'll give you three points for that), but you have to understand: we want more than that. A lot more. And it isn't hard for us to find things about you that put us off.

I once met this guy. A really nice specimen. He was smart, kinda funny (sense of humor! Also very important! I'll get back on that one...), handsome, sweet.... but he laughed like a girl. Next please!

We want men. Real men. And not the type that thinks it's cool to make nasty sounds coming from various bodyparts.

We want tough men. Not men who thìnk they are tough. But be warned: tough does NOT equal acting like a baboon. Being tough means having a good amount of confidence and limiting your feminine side to a minimum.

We want gentlemen. Men who hold the door open for us, men that let us choose where to go on a first date, men that pay us compliments (but not too much, because we just find that slimy).

We want funny men. Burping the alphabet may be funny for you guys, but don't do it if you just met us and are trying to impress us. It might blow up in your face. No, we want a more or less refined sense of humor. A sense of humor that shows us that you might actually be an intelligent human being.

Intelligence, another crucial point. We want men that think and have opinions. But beware: thinking is good, (over)analyzing isn't. We are the ones that analyze. After the date.

I once had a date with a man that actually managed to analyze every single word I said. Out loud. That went something like this: 'oh, so you say this because this and this and that...'. So it doesn't come as a surprise that I ended the date after fifteen minutes because I just remembered that I very urgently had to do laundry...

And then finally: appearance. You know, if you more or less possess all the things mentioned before, appearance doesn't really matter to us. As long as you don't look like a hobo or we can smell you from a great distance (not showering as well as overdoses of aftershave are killers. Again, I speak out of experience...), we're not too picky. Nice of us, huh?

And as long as I don't find a specimen like that (and I'm not alone in this one), I refuse to waste my time with less. Besides, I have shower gel that smells like coconut. That's nice too...

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