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Five years of media coverage of Miley Cyrus's shoulder wouldn't be enough
Opinion: Yes. Nothing else matters. Five years of media coverage of Miley Cyrus's shoulder wouldn't be enough.
Five years of media coverage of Miley Cyrus's shoulder wouldn't be enough
Kids with guns
In recent weeks a talk show host was unforgivably stupid/racist and a bitter little kid shot and killed everyone he could. They were weak, unpleasant specimens of the human race, and - although they'd probably want the world to believe otherwise - the truth is they had no balls.
Send Celebrities to Iraq
So, Prince Harry is all set to go to Iraq. Could this finally be the answer to the question of what to do with celebrities like Britney, KFed and Mischa Barton's little sister? Ashley 'Danger' Meeks considers the options...
Vagina Monologues review: Utterly ricockulous
Ashley takes on a buffalo stance - NO, she says. The Vagina Monologues aren't feminist at all. They are base, crude sexism, turning us all into jocks of the highest order, and we should fight back before it's too late.
Interval: Looking back on the murder of a classmate
Time stands still when someone dies. They're all still out there, frozen in memory, but we can't touch them anymore. Ashley's former classmate, a cheerleader, was murdered, and in the minds of people who knew her she will always be 20, and always be the same...
My boyfriend killed himself...A Fucking decade on
It is hard enough for anyone to wonder what might have been if they had stayed with their ex. If you separate because your boyfriend killed himself, there are some things you will never know. Some things - like the boyfriend who died - will stay with you forever.
Salad Buffets - Too much 'choice' gives only a false freedom
When is a full salad buffet a means to chain you not to give you freedom of choice? When it makes you give up and head for the nearest set menu...
Candy makers agree to remove lead
Three international food companies have taken steps to remove lead from candy sold in the United States and Mexico. That's actually true. The problem is that lead tastes so delicious...
5 MILLION REASONS WHY I HATE COSMOPOLITAN MAGAZINE
Ashley 'Danger' Meeks suggests that Cosmopolitan magazine is for self-absorbed, boring genital-gazers who cry 'rape' while wearing 'fuck me' t-shirts. But, you know, in a very fluffy way.
Confessions of a recovering teenager
When does an American become an adult? When they can get sentenced as an adult, marry, join the army... or when they can legally buy a drink and rent a car? Ashley 'Danger' Meeks shares our confusion
Fat America
If it costs a king's ransom to buy a tiny healthy leek, it's not surprising that shoppers in the US are so cheapskate (and therefore hefty) that the closest they get to food fit for a king is when they buy a Chicken Royale...
Organic maple syrup? The sap's choice
There is at least one woman in town who is going
to bed tonight
troubled, says Ashley 'Danger' Meeks, because the local hippie food store doesn't
stock organic
maple syrup....
FIRST SUPERMODELS HAD DINOSAUR FEET
Ashley 'Danger' Meeks uncovers fresh research that shows the earliest supermodels - less-evolved "semi good" models - weren't as good at sticking their claws down their throat but did have excellent dinosaur feet!
SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER
The finest minds among us have hated Christmas and said so in public. Ashley 'Danger' Meeks finds shiny new ways of making Christmas fun, fun, fun. Bring it on, Danger-lady!
HOW TO OPEN YOUR OWN CRAPPY HALLOWEEN STORE
Halloween is a great time and it's just a shame the costumes in the chain stores are so rubbish. Ptiza Odelay lifts the lid on a stinky dustbin labelled 'American Dream'.
ONLINE DATING FREAKS
There's something about internet dating sites isn't there? Two in a hundred people are normal and netdate-curious. They're probably you and your friend. With everyone else you can practically smell the desperation. People like these...
LATE-NIGHT STORES
We nabbed our lovely Amerikan correspondent Ashley 'Danger' Meeks from a real job to tell you about America and stuff in her new column, 'Confessions of a Recovering Teenager'. And believe us, she'll tell you hard.
