Probably the most important news in the world

by Deborah Taylor

Mookychick brings you the latest news. The truest news. The most important news. Mookychick brings you the only news that counts.

Now read this...

• New washing machine for pets released in Japan.
• Fruit and nuts announce their separation and will no longer appear in bagged assortments or chocolate any more. They are still in mediation over muesli.
• Casebook, the new social networking site for true crim fans is launched. Every 100,000th member is murdered in the style of the serial killer of their choice.
• Coffee suppositories to be given to sleepy throat cancer patients.
• Frogs prescribed by doctors to cure gout.
• America hit by new hair piercing craze.
• Y is to be reclassified as a super vowel, or constewel.
• The government are announcing a Twitter Laureate who will comment on important events in the Royal Household in less than 140 characters to try to make the royals more appealing to the young.
• Nestle are to release a luxury chocolate made from red panda milk. It has a slight wicker taste.
• Scientists at the Cern project think they have discovered a fourth primary colour which could easily be mistaken for brown.
• The number seven is being abolished due to its supernatural associations, and we shall work in base 9 from now on.
• Self-boiling eggs have been developed by genetic modification.
• Malawi people offer to adopt one of Madonna's children.
• Peaches Geldof's new autobiography is universally acclaimed by critics. Peaches are not the only fruit.
• X-ray machines installed in all clubs to allow for display of internal tattoos.
• Pope to introduce new condoms by way of apology, with rosary attached for both stimulation and penance.

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Mission statement

Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.