Reading is the new sex

by Alex Whiteley

Reading. It hasn't exactly got the coolest reputation in the world - at least among those not in the know. However, all the sexy girls know that the best aphrodisiac is to saunter into a club wearing not much except a T-shirt that says "So many books, so little time"...

Who hasn't had one of those moments where someone looks over and goes "What's that then? One of them books?" Or recalled that moment when cathartic comedian Bill Hicks recounted reading a book in a pitstop cafe, and the waitress looking over at him and drawling, "Hey - what you reading for?" Not "What you reading?", but "What you reading for?"

Some people would get annoyed at this, roll their eyes, sigh, come up with some scathing comeback, but not a Mooky girl. We just smile to ourselves and think, "You don't know what you're missing" before losing ourselves once again on the misty moors with Heathcliffe.

Because books aren't the stuffy, old-fashioned rubbish people think. They're exciting, thought-provoking and, yes, you got it, very, very sexy.

10 sizzling reasons why reading is the new sex

1. A book lasts longer. Unless it's a really short book or, you know, you're dating Superman.

2. You never get past the 'anytime, anywhere' stage. That's right. In bed, on the floor, on a towel by the door...

3. Two words: Mr. Darcy.

4. I know, I know... They're girly and everyone sees them as a bit of a joke, but they honestly don't come much steamier than a good Mills & Boon. Their 'Blaze' range is true cold-shower material. Or you could go just a step further and delve into the pages of Scarlet Magazine...

5. Every guy can be your dream guy. Let's face it, they're all 'tall, dark, handsome'.

6. If reading isn't sexy, why are there so many facebook groups dedicated to it? From 'Reading is sexy' to 'Boys in Books are better', you can find thousands of like-minded people at the click of a mouse, and share your obsession with the world.

7. Reading allows you to be and do anything you want. The world is your oyster, and the freedom to be yourself is an aphrodisiac.

8. Boys in books are sexy. They just are! They don't mumble, they don't make you cry, they don't mess up, and if they do, it's only because they love you, not because they're incompetent.

9. Joining the literary mile-high club won't get you banned from a plane. In fact, it'll keep you quiet throughout the journey, thus endearing you to the cabin-crew.

10. No matter how bad it seems, we know we'll get our happy ever after. Which is no more or less than we deserve.