Alternative Christian style
Dear Mookychick,
I love the different "out of the norm" styles like emo, goth, and electric. But I have a very religious family and with that I can't do anything too outrageous without upsetting my parents, religious leaders, and religious peers. Don't get me wrong, I have the clothes, but my mom won't let me dye my hair an alternative colour, or wear too much make up. I do love the different kinds of styles, but I don't want to mess up my religious background. Is there anything in between?
Love, Anonymous Me xxx
The Mookychick answer to your problem
Magda says...
You've probably already read our article about being a christian goth, but if you haven't, do. Actually, that's presumptious of me - you might belong to another strong religious tradition, but the rules of modesty and religious respect when wearing alternative clothing will still apply.
To be honest, it sounds like you're fine just as you are. You have the clothes, and you haven't upset anyone you don't want to upset. What is 'alternative'? Maybe you can't dye your hair pink or fire engine red, but perhaps you could dye your hair another colour? Black, blonde, red aren't alternative on their own and might be acceptable - it's what you wear with them and who you are that makes those dyed shades alternative. You could discuss, maybe, getting plum hair. Plum is still closer to a natural shade than pink, and you can get plum hair dye in any chemist, so it's mainstream enough to stand less of a chance of upsetting anyone.
It honestly sounds like you've already hit a good compromise. There are also accessories, which can be removed before, say, coming home, but make outfits more daring. But you don't want to do too much hiding of stuff - it will only upset your parents if they find it and make them not trust you. Better to discuss what is a good compromise for your individuality and your parent's trust, just as you've been doing!
As for make up, I'm sure you already do this, but for an alternative look, avoid lipstick (which can be quite suggestive) and go for heavier makeup on the eyes, with kohl and eyeliner and mascara. There's nothing tarty about it (stick to shadowy smudge or dark lines, not colour, to avoid any hint of jezebel), and you can wear made-up eyes on their own to look alternative but still pleasingly modest. I think you're doing just fine! Also, this may sound weird, but, if you like, investigate strong-coloured tights with your outfits. Really strong colours. Plum, red, yellow, electric blue. They're utterly demure - you're covered up - and really spark up outfits. I love wearing netting tights over strongly-coloured tights but I don't know if that would be suitable for you...
