I've got big boobs! How can I make my boobs smaller?

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Magda says...

Oh dear. Hear, have a great big booby hug. Sadly, I too have had distressingly large boobs (32FF) since an early growth spurt as a teenager so our arms won't even reach round each other!

To be honest, the wishing it were otherwise never quite goes away. I've always known that if I had smaller boobs I would wear different clothes, but after a few teenage years of either hiding myself in baggy clothes that made me look depressed rather than invisible, and after a few more teenage years of dressing like a goth tart (fun, but not everyone's taste!), I realised that my boobs weren't going to go away so I was going to have to learn to create my own style.

From your email, I couldn't tell if you had truly big boobs (say, a D cup or above, which is a size serviced by some shops but not all), or the problem was more that you clearly had larger boobs than your friends, and the contrast was the problem. I am going to assume you have breasts large enough that they are a genuine problem to buy bras for and find tops to suit you. If that's not the case, hopefully some of the advice below will still be of some use to you.

Making big boobs smaller through magic pills and dieting? No. Thinking about magic pills will only make you cry, because there's nothing more frustrating than dreaming of a quick body fix that won't happen, when the only way to really lose the anxiety, depression and lack of confidence is to look at quick fixes which will actually help.

That means getting to know your real individual style, and looking at what you wear.

As you already know, you can't copy what your friends wear, or follow trends (I hate that word) item-for-item in the shops. It won't work. But your life isn't over. You're going to find a way to wear clothes that actually make your boobs look smaller by (a) admitting they exist so that they feature nicely on your body, and (b) accentuating the other parts of you, so it's not all about the boobs. The rest of your body exists too, and it's time to pay it some attention.

You said: "It isn't that I'm trying to hide my boobs - I WANT TO GET RID OF THEM."

I do understand. It's horrible. But you're taking the wrong approach. By putting all your energy into finding miracle ways of getting rid of your boobs, you're making yourself nervous and emotionally exhausted. Worrying about miracle cures is what's destroying your confidence, and worrying about how to wear clothes that show your figure in a way that suits you is the best, only, and absolute quickest win!

Would you rather waste the next five years hiding yourself in clothes you don't like, or start dealing with your body image right now? What you wear can go a LONG way to restoring your self-confidence and giving yourself back the right to wear what you like.

1) Accentuate the positive

This means your legs. From now on, remember that the rest of your body still exists. Worried about your boobs? Want to wear amazing, flattering clothes without looking tarty? Fine, start accentuating your legs. Match baggy hoodies with skinny jeans, or slim boot cut jeans.

As well as skinny jeans (if they suit you, but they suit nearly everyone), start looking at all the short skirts in your wardrobe with a new eye. Can you combine them with that 1 baggy tee and 1 baggy hoodie you still trust?

As a starting point, I know it's bossy, but think about adding a short dark denim skirt to your wardrobe if you don't already have one. Now start thinking about trainers, if you like them, and definitely boots. Pixie boots, biker boots - whatever makes you feel like you're still being yourself, but boots are great. They're kinda chunky, and balance out the weight of the boobs down below. Heels also work but boots are more likely to exist in your wardrobe. Statement legs that you can show off is a godsend for big-boobed girls, and don't worry what your legs are like - I've never seen a bad pair of legs yet! This funky relaxed tomboy-sexy style will remind you and the whole world that there's more to you than breasts, thank you very much.

2) Dresses are your friend

There are plenty of cute dresses that are flattering but not too tight. Start raising hemlines. Short dresses are fantastic because they make you look cute and womanly without being tarty, they accentuate the legs, and whatever style you wear, you'll find a dress to suit that style.

For big boobs, look for short dresses that flounce out a bit or have an Empire line. These accentuate your hips and legs, not your boobs. You can wear the dresses with a big belt to pull in and attract attention to the waist if you like. If you've got the magical tight cropped cardigan in your cupboard (see below), you can wear dresses with the cardigan, which will let you feel like you're hiding your boobs, but the end result will still flatteringly figure-hugging.

3) Layering is also your friend

Now, you're petite, and I'm tall, so layering might work slightly differently for you. But what works for me is layers.

I'm a big fan of fitted (not baggy) tees and tunic tops that are long. Over these long fitted tees, have a selection of small, cropped, fitted cardigans. Yep, these are tight clothes! But the layering makes boobs look smaller and the rest of the body (and legs) look longer. People see the whole of your shape, without being hypnotised by your apparently great but (and this is your big secret) actually really annoying breasts. Start looking for long fitted tops in shops, and small cropped cardigans.

3) Jewellery

Accessories can make you look great AND draw attention away from your boobs, so people remember to look at the whole of you. Small chains and necklaces raise the eye up from the boobs towards your face, and draw attention to your neck - necks are always pretty and deserve attention. Bracelets draw attention to arms and wrists. Lots of chunky bracelets, or a few slim dangling silver ones like a belly dancer - doesn't matter. Give it a go. Also, I know this sounds crazy, but start wearing nail polish if you don't already - keep it out of school, though. Draw attention to your hands. Hands always look good, and with nail polish they look better.

4) Tops that will suit you

Keep the tops fitted and long. Draw the eye with long tops so that your boobs are a part of your silhouette, not your most stand-out feature. Also, you've probably noticed that with short tops they ride up a bit on the belly because the boobs take up so much space :) Yeah, our lot is a hard one. But if you see a long vest top, and love it, but aren't sure about it because of the top half, remember you can layer it up with a tight tee or cardigan.

If you feel trapped in that baggy tee but too scared to let go of it just yet, here's a tip: Use scissors to cut round the neckline and give the tee a bigger neckline. Then you're baggy but still making a bit of a statement, and the new increased neckline should be quite flattering. In fact, if you cut too much off the neckline by mistake, worry not - you can wear it as an off-the-shoulder baggy tee, with a vest top underneath. Much better!

They say fitted V-necks are great for big boobs. Yeah, they're okay, but I prefer to wear them with a long tight vest underneath. It's a more sporty style and again makes the boobs look smaller.

Fitted tops with 3/4 length sleeves look fantastic with breasts. They will hugely boost your confidence. They will make you look pretty, and even womanly, in a way that other people will think is a very natural yet beautiful style. Again, a top with 3/4 length sleeves can be part of your wardrobe whatever style you dress in.

Fitted scallop neck tops will look good on you.

Empire lines (google any terms you're not sure of) are ace, although you're more likely to find an empire line on a dress.

You're probably gnashing your teeth in anger that all the other girls can wear vest tops and you don't have the confidence to do so. My best friend is a shop called Bravissimo. Why? It's an online shop that is totally dedicated to making girls who are curvy up to feel better about themselves. They have vest and spaghetti-string vest tops that have your bra size underwired in so you can wear a vest top designed specially for your boobs. They also have other clothes - some of them are a bit grown-up and boring, but they're like Gap - they understand that if you have one or two basic items in your wardrobe that really suit you, your confidence will shine.

5) Forget fashion - from now on, it's personal style

You'll have probably discovered that fashion is not your friend. Not everything in the shops is going to suit you. You're going to have to figure out the shapes that suit you and raise your confidence, and look for fashion items that feature that cut.

6) Make sure you get pretty bras in the right size!

From your email it's a little hard to tell if you have genuinely really large boobs (you know, larger than a D cup so it's quite hard to find cheap pretty bras in the usual stores), or if you're just feeling very low that they're larger than those of your friends. If you have genuinely large boobs that it's hard to get the right bra size for, go to Bravissimo and ask your parents to buy you a bra set as a treat. The right bra, in the right size, one that looks good, will make a HUGE difference to your self-confidence. Even if you're wearing the same old baggy tee and hoodie on top. It will start making you feel like a human being again.

7) Lastly, some tricks to restore your confidence.

Imagination + Mirror = Confidence in the bedroom. Are you spending a bit of time in your room crying? Every time you feel the anxiety tears come, let them come - but then go back to your wardrobe. Look at all the lovely clothes you have, but don't wear. In the safety of your bedroom, start thinking about the tips above, and start combining your clothes in new ways. Try to come up with an outfit you feel you could wear outside, that would make you look good. Practise a few cute poses in the mirror. You know that feeling where you feel great in the mirror, and wish you could seem like that in public? Find an outfit that isn't way-out, but makes you feel like that - then wear it in the house. See if your folks notice the difference. Then wear it outside.

Trust your parents. Go to your mum before you go to your friends. With something like this, even a difficult mum is suddenly taking you seriously and offering you kindness and advice that even your best friend couldn't offer. Your mum will never let you down if you say that you want some help because your boobs are too big and it's really upsetting you. She won't make you feel small. She recognise the grimness of the situation and will be 100% there for you. Hopefully she's got big boobs and can give you some tips and tricks. Even if she's got small ones, she'll have had her own nightmare at around your age and will remember the anguish, so she won't be cruel. Also, remember your mum isn't blind. Your breasts have grown and suddenly you're wearing really baggy clothes. And refusing to think about wearing the nice clothes she's encouraging you to wear. Think she hasn't noticed? Think she might, after all, be a safe person to approach? From your email it's hard to tell, but if you've approached her already? Have a think about what you want to say after reading this advice... then approach her again!

Once you've taken a few steps in the privacy of the bedroom to come up with new styles, have a chat with your friends. Just say point blank to them, "my big boobs are a nightmare and I've completely lost the confidence to wear any clothes I like and I don't even know what would suit me any more. Help." Ask them if you look better in baggy tees and jeans, or in whatever outfit you've managed to come up with that hopefully works for you and still makes you feel safe. See what they say. Remember, they've got their own issues, and probably won't be as genuinely helpful as your mum. But you might as well talk to them, eh? Especially since you've said your friends and family are already trying to get you to wear amazing clothes. Again, none of these people are blind - they're probably waiting for you to fess up about your diminished self-confidence so they can help. That's what friends and family are for!

Final tips for dealing with big boobs:

1) Forget magic pills and fad diets. They're distressing you and offer no solution. It's time to look at what you wear.

2) Try new outfits from your wardrobe, in the safe privacy of your bedroom.

3) Involve your friends and family in the great adventure of finding your individual style and accepting the person you are, not the person you'd like to be.

And above all - good luck.

xxx

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