My cat gets jealous
Dear Mookychick,
I'm a guy but thought I would write to you anyway. I have a little tortoishell cat called Jezebel and I love her to pieces but whenever I bring a girl home she treats them really badly she just makes them feel really unwelcome and treats everyone else in the house really good so my girlfriend knows it is just her. It sounds funny but once she shat on my girlfriend's side of the bed in the night. My girlfriend is really sweet and loves cats and knows it is kind of funny, but she is beginning to get upset because she knows I won't leave Jezebel and knows we can't move in together as things stand. Have you got any suggestions?"
Love, Anonymous Me xxx
The Mookychick answer to your problem
Amanda says...
I have a friend in a similar situation, except her cat isn't just jealous of boyfriends, but any friends who come to the house. She doesn't attack them or anything, but just slyly wees on their coat/fleece/shoes or where they've just been sitting as if to mark her territory. I assume that it's just women you are particularly affectionate and physically close to that kitty has a problem with, and it's OK when a group of mates come round. Cats are very territorial and extremely complex creatures. In kitty's little world, you are the alpha male and she's the alpha female - you share a close physical space together and she trusts you as her number one. There is only room for one alpha of each sex in her life and the introduction of another female with whom you're physically close to will threaten her alpha status within your shared territory and cause her anxiety. Firstly, get a girlfriend who's an animal lover and will respect kitty's concern. Next, avoid being all over your date when kitty's in the room but equally don't lock her out (the cat, that is!). Then encourage the 'girls' to bond and integrate. In time your cat will realize that two laps, two sets of treats and two people fussing over her are preferable to one. One the other hand, cats can be rather canny judges of character, so maybe you just haven't met the right girl yet!
Debs Taylor says...
Cats are supposed to be canny little creatures with some supernatural
insight into all sorts of mysterious things. That's why they are
always shown hanging around with witches, worshipped by Egyptians and
generally worshipped and what not.
In real life, however, they are just moody little mini-tigers, who want nothing more from you than to be fed. Fed plenty and often. You're little bundle of fluffy cuteness, which, admit it, you only got to make you seem more attractive and caring, has no in depth sight into the future of your romances. She isn't trying to steer you away from a number of bad choices, she simply wants you to stop paying attention to any other living being and fed her. End of story.
Do you have a friend or neighbour who looks after and feeds the cat when you're away? I bet the little kitty loves them and doesn't shit anywhere when they visit, does it? It just wants to be fed. Pure and simple.
The easiest way to endear your girlfriend to your cat is to get her feeding it. When she visits, have her drop a bit of food into her food dish, every time she visits. Give it a bit of time and the cat will love it when your girlfriend comes around, simply adore her and lead her, quite quickly, into the kitchen. Which, according to your cat, is where everyone should be, constantly opening sachets of Kit-e- Kat and passing round the cat-nip.
Char says...
Put your cat in the bin :)
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