Is it OK to have sex on a first date

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Amanda says...

Yes, it's fine to shag on a first date as long as you don't particularly care whether you ever see your conquest again. And if you really don't care, he'll sense it and be all over you like a rash, keeping your mobile busy 24/7. However, if you do rather like him and want to guarantee further liaisons, it's best to play the mystery missy and keep his winkle at bay for a while. That way he'll never be sure if you're nuts about him or not and will get quite involved in the chase with the same enthusiasm as he has for the world cup (yawn!). I may seem old fashioned, but the sad truth with men is, if you put yourself on a pedestal, they're usually thick and impressionable enough to be fooled into thinking you're very special and out of their league. Thus appreciating you even more when they do finally get their mitts on you. And anyway, would YOU want to go out with a man who shags on a first date? I wouldn't.

Debs says...

Well, firstly, You're single, aren't you? And you'll probably stay that way for quite a while. Sorry.

Let's get this straight. There's nothing morally wrong with shagging on the first date. There's any number of reasons why this is a really good idea. You might find your date hot, but that could be all, so why waste further time dating him, when you could just have a great night of fun and save money on further drinks. You might just want a shag, and there's this guy who is there, Or you may just have low self esteem and think that getting someone to shag you must mean they like you. All of which are fine in the short term.

The problems come about when you want to actually try and settle down in a relationship and build something more solid. It's an old cliche, I know, but if you have already shagged on your first date, where can you go on your second. The cinema had better be showing a damn good film to top it. And I assure you, it won't. (Though if it is, then the sex must have been awful, so why are you going on a second date?)

It's all about that old chestnut of actually getting to know someone, finding out if you like the person, rather than a couple of their better traits. You're never going to get the chance tyo do that, if you leap into bed at the first opportunity. He'll lose interest in you, you'll lose interest in him and you could both be missing out on something better. Or you could just be cutting through a lot of crap.

The first date isn't that much of a mine field as you'd think. At the end of the night, you have three options. The first is to run away and never see them again, because they were just nauseating. The second is to shag them, because they weren't boyfriend material, but there's this physical itch you know he can scratch. The third is to agree to meet again, because you damn well like them. So you should play it by ear, really.

Char says...

Well, it's an age old question with a myriad of answers, none of them exclusively right or wrong due to the fact of different strokes for different folks.

Generally speaking, your mamma tells you that you should wait for as long as possible before getting to know your date in the biblical sense... and there's a damn good reason for it! You can't escape it, but the majority of us girls all dance to the man's tune. We dress to impress, and even then, we have to be careful because a man will attempt to decode us and categorise us by the amount of cleavage on display.

If you offer yourself on a plate then unless you're a real strong gal you'll get munched. If you want to be a microwave meal, go ahead, but there's a possibility the guy will think you taste like one. Think of yourself as a roast dinner. Think of the preparation, the love and care and anticipation in the eventual feast laid before that lucky guy... now, don't you think that's worth waiting for? There's a good chance he will, too. Much more salacious than a ready meal.

It's not right to sleep with someone on a first date and it's not wrong either, but there's a lot to say for knowing someone inside out before they know you inside, erm, out...

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