Has your happy relationship become slightly stale? Oh dear. These tiny yet delightful tips will accentuate the positive. And if you’ve got a creative, crafty side, try sneaking it into the relationship. It might help strengthen the seams…
Look at your partner. Really look at them, then pick out something you like (there has to be something. You have chosen to go out with them, after all) and compliment them on it. If your girl enjoys making her own clothes/jewellery, pick up on that… this will make her proud of her accomplishments and she will be a very happy bunny. If your boy spends more time on his hair than you do, tell him how awesome it looks.
(Hint: focusing on a part of the body that he/she dislikes and telling them how great it is will heighten their self esteem, leaving them feeling better all round.)
If you’ve both got busy lives to lead, then when you do get to talk, listen to each other. Looking for solutions in someone else’s problems may well help you see what might work in your own. Talking all over him/her and trying to get your own problems vented won’t make them listen to you, it will make them feel ignored and unimportant.
Take an Interest!
Taking an interest in what your partner is saying/doing will make them open up a bit more about current projects/feelings and will bring you closer together.
(Hint: It will also encourage them to take an interest in what you are doing…)
Taking an interest can also lead to getting involved in each other’s projects, meaning you get to spend more time together and learn more about what the other person likes doing.
Making little gifts for you partner is as personal as you can get. You can incorporate little things you know they like and things which connect you both. You can paint stones, or fold them an origami swan or frog, or invent a cocktail and name it after them, or draw them a card, or knit them a finger mouse, or get a cute teddy bear and desecrate it with paint and eyepatches and cutesy knitted scars… However, what could be more fun than making things together?
Sitting together and drawing (not necessarily each other) can be really relaxing, as long as you both like drawing. If you like drawing but at least one of you is rubbish and shy about it, try playing the doodle game: Where you take it in turns to suggest a thing that the other person has to doodle (eg. goth space rocket, castle in the clouds, hippy pigeon…). The doodle game is nice, in that it’s quick to play, low in expectations so is an easy way to overcome creative shyness, and more often than not brings intriguing results.
If you both really hate drawing, . You could perhaps think of a subject and sit away from each other for 5 minutes and try to write a poem about it, then swap over.
(Hint: If you’re writing poetry with your partners, funny subjects work better than serious ones.)
He likes fishing, you like turning your old stockings into gloves… does that mean it’s a doomed relationship, for you have nothing in common? Piffletoff! Grab your worms and wellies and try going fishing with him. You could end up having a really good time. Imagine how happy he will be to have someone to teach and share his hobby with – someone that he fancies! Plus, when you get back, you can grab his old T-shirts and your sewing kit and make your clothes funky together.
Make room for ‘You Time’
If you don’t spend time together, how do you expect the relationship to work? Try to allocate time for you both, to do something together. Whether it be a meal out, drawing or just cuddling on the sofa watching a film, you’ll both feel better for it. If you find that your ‘you time’ has hit a standard routine (you always go to a restaurant, or to a film, or to a pub with the same friends) try to mix it up a bit.
You could try some psychogeography by hitting a high street and deciding you’ll go to the third restaurant you see on the left, whatever it ends up being – thus recapturing the terrifying promise and apprehension of a first date.
If you go to the pub, think in advance of ways to involve yourself, partner and friends that haven’t been tried at the pub before. Or plan a proper day out. Zoo, falconry centre, go-karting – if you put the effort in, you can easily come up with a shared experience that will break the pattern of cosy sofa evenings and make them feel like something to cherish again, not take for granted.
Make ‘Your Time’ Count!
If you decide to spend your ‘you time’ just cuddling, make sure every moment is one to remember. It may be simple, it may be regular, but cuddling isn’t boring. Enjoy it and love each precious moment – being comfortable with yourselves is a dream you’d wanted, and have now achieved.
Uncalled-for hugs, kisses and little comedy dances will make your partner feel special, as will a random text or facebook message – but don’t go overboard as it could be misconstrued as being clingy.
Now, go and give your special someone a hug and practise what you’ve learned!
What better way to show your love than by turning a cute teddy bear gift into an abomination?
We’re not saying you need to get down on one knee to propose! There are other nice messages you can write on a painted stone…