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Badass music rules
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by Amber McGown-Rules
Miss Amber says it's okay to like badass rappers who talk about their dick, because you can't be mad at a cartoon...
One of my absolute favourite things to do of a weekend is to stumble in drunk at an ungodly hour and collapse on the couch to semi-conciously watch big booty music videos.
Every Saturday there is a guest programmer on Rage (Australia's version of MTV)... and ever since I've been old enough to stay awake past 10pm I have wanted to be one of them. It's pretty unlikely, because (a) only bands/musicians get to be the guest programmer, as if the sheer joy of being in a band wasn't good karma in one's life enough, and (b) I'm not particularly famous at this juncture. Although I have decided I would make an excellent famous person.
Anyway, I have been sitting here watching Rage and I have come to the following conclusions:
1. Even though I am, essentially, a bit of an indie snob, I have a secret penchant for badass rap dudes. Furthermore, I do not object (although I know I should) to the way women are often referred to by aforementioned badasses, possibly because they're so farcical that they're practically comic characters, and you can't be mad at a cartoon.
2. I find rap and hip hop bravado highly amusing, thus attracting me more to the badass rap dudes, because every girl is attracted to a man who can make her laugh. I especially like it when they talk about how big their dick, paypacket or fame is.
3. "99 problems" by Jay-Z makes me involuntarily twitch. I cannot control what happens when that song is on, no matter how hard I try.
4. Pharrell Williams. Phwoar. I don't think I need to say anything else.
5. "BOB" by Outkast is the best rap ever. EVER. And the video kicks shaky ass too.
Sometimes, when I am falling asleep, I make myself dream that I am the world's raddest "alternative" DJ and people come from miles around to hear me spin new Sub Pop releases and Motown remixes, but then mid-set I drop in an NWA song and scare the shit out of all the indie wusses in their horn-rimmed glasses and corduroy pants. This is my favourite dream.
Thank God for music.
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About the author
Max Macbride is lost in music. He's caught in a trap. There's no turning back! A recent foreign-language business graduate, he aims to make the world a better place through a combination of financial astuteness and nu-skool flamenco. He would also like to be dressed as a small bear.
