Pregnancy lingerie - Who dares claim that pregnancy should never be sexy?

by Holly-Rae Smith

Mooky message to po-faced critics: Don't get your knickers in a twist, it's only a baby bump. Recently a mannequin sporting a pregnant belly and pretty underwear was removed from a UK shop window due to a couple of passers-by saying it was somehow indecent. Mookychick was furious - sexy underwear for all, say we! And that means mommas, too! Raaaar!

Imagine, if you will, your underwear collection. Your entire knicker drawer in all its fun and flirty glory. You've got your brightly coloured boy-pants, your sex-kitten thongs and your cute girly briefs. Every piece hand chosen in order to boost your confidence and help you feel amazing.

Now, imagine those pants. Your dreaded period pants. The slobby, 'I'm going to stay in my Pjs all day and there's not a goddamn thing you can do about it' knickers. The ill-fitting underwear that strips us of any sexual pride, confidence or even youth. The knicker sets that, really, are a last resort - and you'd like to keep it that way, thank-you-very-much.

It was this kind of underwear that used to rule the maternity world with an iron fist. Dated, impenetrable and flat-out ugly. High street shops obviously felt that every woman's greatest desire is to look and feel like Nora Batty the moment a baby hijacks their body. They met demands for pretty, young-looking bras in bigger sizes and nursing cups in a kind of "Ner-ner--ner-ner--neh! We're not listening!" manner. And so they filled their racks with granny pants and bras to match. Comfort over style.

Okay, so pregnant women are looking for comfy undies, I get that. But is it really too much to ask for fabric that wasn't lifted straight out of a dingy tea room? Why should mums be denied femininity and fresh, lovely knickers under their stretch yoga pants?

In fact, it's such a difficult time for young mums (all grotty hormones and expanding waist lines) that it surely becomes more crucial than ever for you to make yourself feel attractive. Why shouldn't we make arguably the most important and hormonal demographic in human existence feel amazing?

Well, because it's indecent. Obviously.

That's the argument that conservative critics are putting forward in response to one company that are making gorgeous underwear for the style-conscious MILFs out there. Internet wonders HOTmilk have been designing fab undies for mooky mommas since 2006. HOTmilk was founded after two mummies-to-be were gobsmacked when they saw the narrow choices offered for their new-found and fertile figure. They helped women give beige lycra blends the finger and wriggle into something that would restore their inner fox and peace of mind. However, HOTmilk have hit the headlines recently for all the wrong reasons.

"Emily", a clothes mannequin sporting a healthy baby bump and one of HOTmilk's black, lacy cami sets caused a lot of complaints when she was put in a shop's front window. Several people asked for Emily to be put into early retirement in the interests of modesty. Conservative critics have argued that this feminine, flirtatious underwear trend for stylish and young pregnant women was not only indecent but pornographic.

Pornographic? What exactly is pornographic about a pregnant woman wanting to look good under her clothes for herself and the man who got her into that situation in the first place? I'd say that they were just being prudish - but bear in mind that this is coming from the same political ideology that puts barely-legal girls in their skimpies on page three.

Do women stop being sexy the moment that they become pregnant? "Sorry ladies, the moment that pregnancy test comes back positive, you are to adopt the persona of a 'doilies and tea cosies' kind of mum. Forget personal style or flair. Chuck out your jeans for a nice cardigan-and-pearls twin set while you're at it".

Over my one-day-to-be bloated, child-bearing body. A woman can wear whatever the hell she likes under her maternity garb. Since when did pregnancy involve adopting the sexuality of a concrete slab? There's some fine print for you.

It's not about decency, it's about choice! If ever I become a mooky mum, I'll sport my yummy mummy behind in funky knickers and flash everyone who passes.

All in the name of liberty, of course.

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Mookychick believes that climbing trees and riding giant turtles is more fun and girly than worrying about make-up. But if you want to worry about make-up instead of turtles? Fine by us. Be you feminist, kitten, punk, emo, indie, goth, witch, vegan, horror junky, intellectual, christian goth, corset queen, geek, unicorn, sea monkey... be you into alternative style, alternative health, spirituality, comics, manga, j-pop, harajuku or jock culture... we will always love you.