Riot Grrl

Basic tips for being a better person and eliminating Karma Drama

by Emily Cracknell

Our life is beset by daily problems when we strive to be someone and just don't quite hit the mark. Some things are out of your hands, but a lot of the problems in your life can be lessened if you approach things from a different way. These pointers might help you become an ethereal golden-lit saint, or at least help eliminate some of that karma drama from your life.

Don't complain unless you're going to do something about it.

People who know me think this is the most ridiculous thing they've ever heard - isn't complaining all you do, they say? But no-one likes to listen to a negative stick-in-the-mud who keeps repeating the same tired complaints but gets all fatalistic and "that's just the way of the world" when they're asked what they're going to do about it.

If we all just sit back and say that's just the way it is, how will anything change? One woman refused to move from her seat on a bus, and her seemingly small action helped propel the civil rights movement forward. How many other black people before her just moved out of the way? It was a simple act but it took a great deal of courage and strength and it made a big difference.

Be tolerant.

I'm sure we're all for the concept of tolerance in theory; you'd be slightly odd if you weren't. People don't, for example, go around saying "Oh yeah, I'm all for hate, me." But how many of us actually practise tolerance in its most everyday sense: eg "Oh, no, she likes Britney Spears? Freak... "

We've all experienced people who are not tolerant of our lifestyle, even over stupid, small things. I seem to be able to tell people I'm agnostic with ease, but if I say I'm vegetarian (and I don't question or condemn their eating of meat) then I'm treated as if I routinely go around decapitating puppies with a rusty saw. I bet we all expect some tolerance, some acceptance. I try not to pass judgment on those that eat meat; I'd hope they would do the same to me. If you give it out then you're more likely to receive it.

Don't give up on your dreams.

(Unless they're murderous and/or disturbing - seek counselling for these).

I'm stuck in a degree at the moment and I'm not all that jazzed about it. However, I've realised that at 21 my life certainly isn't over. I'll cross this bridge, and then after graduation I'll be in a position to dictate my own failures - and I'll do them in search for things I believe in, things I love, things I want.

Don't give up the dreams you had if they make you happy just thinking of them. Youre life isn't over till it's over. You've always got time to dream. Just make sure you act on them, too. The smallest action can lead to the biggest leap. Tarantino worked in a video store. Now he's a famous director. I’m sure some work went in to jumping from one career to the other, but little steps help make you get to larger ones.

Do what you can to be closer to your dreams, and don't let others give up on theirs, either.

Listen.

It's a simple action, but hard to do, and it goes hand-in-hand with tolerance and not complaining. If you're going to complain you've got to listen to the other person's opinion (yours may not be all that sound, after all). Someone who sees both sides of the argument is more likely to be appreciated than someone who only screams their own. Tolerance is listening to others. You don't have to believe what they say. You're more likely to get further in life if you listen, and you'll be appreciated a little more, too.

Be prepared to fail. Don't procrastinate.

Try not to live your life in a comfortable corner. You can't try and follow your dreams if you fear the act of making them come to fruition. Fear is natural, but it can hold us back, and it can make you less tolerant; you fear what you don't understand, what you can't control and what you feel 'threatens' you. Does it really? Examine your fears, your prejudices and try and work on them. If you work through things you're more likely to have a more interesting life, meet more interesting people, and do a lot of stuff that might have scared the bejesus out of you before. Who do you admire more - people who sat back and let things happen to them, or people who confronted scary things and went forward with their lives?

Do as you would like to be done towards you.

This is the big one. We all want our complaints to be listened to, so we must listen to others. We want acceptance, so we should accept others. We want fair pay and a decent lifestyle - so we should help someone else have the same. We want our dreams, so let's encourage others to have theirs (unless they are the aforementioned murderous kind). Let others overcome their fears - don't try and manipulate their fears to get what you want (hello George Bush). Don't discourage someone if they fail - unless you would like to be told that you might want to rethink your own dreams, since they're 'not really going anywhere'.

Easier written than done - but bearing these things in mind in your daily life will go a looooooong, long way to eliminating some of that karma drama. Peace out!