Beginner's guide to Discordia. Hail Eris! Hail Discordia

by seminal Chaos magician Phil Hine

Mookychick has ever been Discordian - a celebration of zen, tolerance, inspiration and the unexpected. Join us in finding Eris - then figure out what you're going to do to her when you've found her.

The Discordian Society is, in its own words, "a tribe of philosophers, theologians, magicians, scientists, artists, clowns, and similar maniacs who are intrigued with ERIS GODDESS OF CONFUSION and with Her doings."

The existence of the Discordian Society was first popularised in Robert Anton Wilson & Robert Shea's blockbusting 'Illuminatus!' trilogy, and also in Malaclypse The Younger's book 'Principia Discordia' which sets out the basic principles of the Discordian Religion - a religion based around the Greek Goddess, Eris.

The Discordian Bible

'Principia Discordia' is as close to a Discordian bible as you are likely to get. Or rather, to give the book its full title:

• Principia Discordia: How I Found Goddess And What I Did To Her When I Found Her

What is a discordian?

Discordianism is a modern religion centered on the idea that chaos is all that there is, and that disorder and order (disorder being considered a concept distinct from chaos) are both illusions (referred to, respectively, as the "Eristic" and "Aneristic" illusions) that are imposed on chaos. There is some division as to whether Discordia should be regarded as a parody religion. The people who worry too much about that are probably worrying too much about everything.

Discordia has been called "Zen for roundeyes", based on its links with absurdist interpretations of the Rinzai school of Zen. Discordianism recognizes chaos, discord, and dissent as valid and desirable qualities, in contrast with most religions, which idealize harmony and order. Eris, the Greek mythological goddess of discord, has also become the matron deity of the religion Discordianism, and you'll find out more about lovely Eris, Discordia's pin-up girl, below.

Eris, goddess of Discord

Traditionally in Greek mythology, Eris was a daughter of Nox (night) and the wife of Chronus. She begat a whole bunch of Gods - Sorrow, Forgetfulness, Hunger, Disease, Combat, Murder, Lies - nice kids!

The ancient Greeks attributed any kind of upset or discord to her - because it's so easy to find a scapegoat. With the fall of the ancient empires, Eris disappeared, though it is suspected that she had a hand in 'manifesting' the first bureaucracies, triplicate forms, and insurance companies.

Eris didn't put in a personal appearance again on spaceship Gaia again until the late 1950's, when she appeared to two young Californians, who later became known as Omar Ravenhurst and Malaclypse The Younger. Eris appointed them the "Keepers of the Sacred Chao" and gave them the following message, probably while they were under the influence of drugs or a momentary flash of great wisdom or general cosmic silliness:

"Tell constricted mankind that there are no rules, unless they choose to invent rules."

After which Omar and Mal appointed each other High Priest of his own madness, and declared themselves each to be a Society of Discordia, whatever that may be.

Greater Poop: Is Eris true?
Malaclypse: Everything is true.
Greater Poop: Even false things?
Malaclypse: Even false things are true.
Greater Poop: How can that be?
Malaclypse: I don't know man, I didn't do it.

Eris has since climbed her way from historical footnote to mythic megastar, and the Discordian Movement, if such a thing can be said to exist, is growing on both sides of the Atlantic, helped by the Discordian tactic of declaring that everyone is a genuine Pope.

More people are getting into the idea of a religion based on the celebration of confusion and madness.

The central Greek myth that Eris figures prominently in is the ever-continuing soap opera of 'Mount Olympus - Home of the Gods'; the episode which inadvertently brought about the Trojan War.

It seems that Zeus was throwing a party and did not want to invite Eris because of her reputation as a troublemaker. Infuriated by the snub, Eris fashioned a golden apple incribed with the word Kallisti, ("to the prettiest one") and tossed it into the hall where all the guests were. Three of the invited Goddesses, Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite, each claimed the apple for themselves and started fighting and throwing food around. To settle the dispute, Zeus ordered all three to submit to the judgement of a mortal over just who was 'the prettiest one', and said mortal was Paris, son of the King of Troy. Zeus sent all three to Paris, via Hermes, but each Goddess tried too utwit the others by sneaking out early and offering a bribe to Paris.

Athena offered Paris victory in battle, Hera, great wealth, while Aphrodite 'merely loosened the clasps by which her tunic was fastened and unknotted her girdle', also offering Paris the most beautiful of mortal women. So, Aphrodite got the apple, and Paris got off with Helen, who unfortunately happened to be married to Menelaus, King of Sparta. Thanks to the meddling of Athena and Hera, the Trojan war followed and the rest, as they say, is history.

Nowadays, in our more chaos-positive age, Eris has mellowed somewhat, and modern Discordians associate her with all intrusions of 'weirdness' in their lives, from synchronous to mischevious occurences, creative flashes of inspiration, and wild parties. She does get a little bitchy at times, but who doesn't?

Discordian groups and popes

It is difficult to estimate the number of followers and correctly identify Discordian groups. The editor of Mookychick is a Discordian Pope. She has a watermarked letter sent to herself in 1994 to prove it, and she'll show you her name if you show her yours. Since Eris loves beaurocracy and triplicate, the letter was also sent to Saatchi and Saatchi advertising - and to a small Italian restaurant outside the British museum which has since closed down. One can only hope they cherished the letter accordingly.

But what is a Pope? While the powers of a Pope are not necessarily enumerated in the Principia Discordia, we are given some idea from a note under your included Discordian Pope card which states, "A =POPE= is someone who is not under the authority of the authorities." other 'definitions' include "A Discordian Pope is every single man, woman, and child on this Earth.". You may or may not agree with these definitions. You may need to write a new one and form your own schism. Find out how to become a Discordian Pope.

There are many other Discordian Popes out there. You may be sitting next to one. Discordians encourage each other to form schisms and cabals. Additionally, few adherents hold Discordianism as their only or primary faith. Can you be a Discordian Catholic? Absolutely! And the Catholic Pope probably-hopefully won't mind if you become a Discordian Pope yourself. Eris certainly wouldn't...

• Read Principia Discordia (as close to a Discordian bible as you will get)
• Read The Illuminatus!: Trilogy. If you don't wade through cosmic psychedelia with golden submarines and anarcho-capitalists and Aleister Crowley you'll never reach the last fifty pages which make sense of everything in the world ever.
• Learn How to become a Discordian Pope
• Learn more about Discordia

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