Bi the Way… Someone Who Says They Are Bisexual Means It
If a bi person says they are bisexual, let us treat them as such. It’s really simple, really easy and not biphobic at all!
Hello, I’m Rachel and I’m bi. No, I am not confused or confused. Yes, I’ve slept with men and women. I’m not obliged to do that as someone who’s bisexual. I just have. No, I do not have a preference. If that felt weird, carry on reading.
I think I have one of the best coming out stories I’ve heard. I realised I was bi just before starting university, so for my new friends it was a normal thing and the friend that I went to uni with would never judge me. I was most nervous about telling my parents, but I didn’t exactly hide it. I just went about as I had before and when it came to telling them it went something like this:
Me: “I’ve got something to tell you.”
Dad: “You’re gay?”
Me: “No, bi.”
Dad: “OK, what’s your news?”
Mam: “Put DIY SOS on…”
So I was happy, I was bi and it didn’t matter. I enjoyed university and met people I fancied, both men and women. I expected jokes and jibes from straight people, the usual “you’re just greedy/ confused” and took it all in my stride.
Some of my family knew and they weren’t the slightest bit bothered. Older relatives were a bit worried – especially when my sister yelled “SHE’S GAY” at an elderly relative who had simply inquired where my boyfriend was. But for the most part, life went on as normal.
I didn’t, however, expect to get scorned by gay and lesbian people. I can’t possibly count the number of times a gay or lesbian friend has genuinely told me I’m confused or made a joke about me being greedy. I couldn’t understand it at first. When we refer to LGBT or LGBTQIA, the B is bi!
It wasn’t until I met my boyfriend that I really saw the full extent of it all. People actually assumed I was straight again. A so-called friend told me I was a “sh*t lesbian”, something I’d never claimed to be in the first place. It almost felt as if people expected my bi to be a part of my progression into lesbianism, like I wasn’t ready to admit to myself that I was gay.
To paraphrase Doctor Who, “sexuality isn’t a strict progression of straight to gay. It’s really all wibbly wobbly sexy wexy.”
‘Biphobia’ comic by Kate or Die
I find it so absurd in a community that’s meant to be there for and welcome all sexualities that bi people are looked down upon. The fact is: I’m bi and I’m in a loving relationship with a guy.
I’m not confused, I haven’t “gone back to being straight” or realised I’m not gay. I’m in a relationship with someone I love.
Isn’t that what it’s all about at the end of the day?
Bi Advice Links
Here is a link for people who think they may be bi: Advocates for Youth
And here is a great UK website: The Bi Index: Bi in the UK