Women who don’t want kids
The Choice to Live Child Free
Regulars will know Mookychick is pro (loving) motherhood – but it’s also pro-choice. Here’s a personal account and manifesto of a person who has decided to live as a child-free woman.
As a child, my friends would fantasize about their dream weddings, and even as a young adult they would paint their future similar to most others: Get married, have kids, grow old. They would discuss what kind of parents they would be and plan their life around the primary objective of bearing children…
I kept quiet as I fantasized about twisted things such as getting kidnapped and tied up. Or about travelling the world, having many adventures, and becoming a famous author or violinist.
One thing I could never picture for myself is running around after a couple of kids, making peanut butter sandwiches for the next day’s lunch, and lugging a family to the beach for the day. I would see women walking along with their strollers, and I felt an overwhelming sense of disgust at the idea. Unable to picture myself in that role, I felt lost and awkward around my friends. When my mom spoke of grandchildren I felt guilt because I had a feeling I would be unable to grant her wish. As her only daughter, it would be a grave disappointment for her to discover my disdain at the thought of bearing children.
For most of my life I felt strange, guilty, and slightly less of a woman due to my feelings towards bearing children. Even today I see happy housewives enjoying their summer days at the beach, and mothers embracing their children who adore them so much, and I feel a twinge of bitterness. For a long time I thought I felt bitter because I am some sort of lame person who does not carry the desire to reproduce, and therefore would never experience that life.
I have come to realize that my bitterness is a result of my constant resistance towards a society where women grow up and have kids. In the world we live in, people are shocked when a woman decides not to have children. It is our purpose and duty as owners of the Womb. My discomfort is a result of the constant judgment, and resistance to the idea that I may want to live my life a different way.
I am not here to beat up on reproduction. Of course people need to reproduce and continue popping out new generations for the future. I am just not one of them. I have a feeling that there are many people out there who do not have the desire, but they do it anyway because society tells them to and because they can not take the constant questioning from their peers and family.
I am in my early 20s. I have a big Italian family with cousins who are beginning their own families. If I was any other normal Italian girl, I would be next in line to link up in a monogamous relationship, start planning my weddings, and start thinking of baby names. If I wanted to make my mother happy, I would already be pregnant. My friends are searching vigorously for their future baby’s daddy, and I keep running into my peers from high school that either have a ring on their finger or a baby on their hip.
Yet I can not seem to find anyone who is truly happy with their life. They all seem stuck. It seems as if they are trying very hard to fit into a mold. They are trying not to disappoint anyone. They hate to abandon their childhood fantasies of baby showers and little league. Again, I do not want to bash reproduction. We need people to have their families and populate the earth.
I had this wonderful revelation when I turned 19. I will never forget. I discovered an amazing, awesome truth; I discovered an idea that would cause a world of opportunity to open up for me.
I Do NOT have to have kids!
What is this you say? Bearing children is… Optional?
Many people dream of raising children, and it is in fact their most precious dream and the purpose for their life. That is wonderful. I would frankly feel miserable, but that is just me. I am sure raising a child is extremely fulfilling, meaningful, and beautiful. However for me, I would find it more meaningful to travel the world, have many lovers and experiences, and do everything I can to make a difference in the world. I feel that not only would kids hold me back, but I would also not be a great person to raise one. I just do not possess that motherly vibe.
One day while trolling around on Craigslist I came across a Dating Website called: