How to survive your twenties
Keep a blog, knit, write a book, question your sexuality, start a band and don’t think about being thirty … Kaite Welsh gives you some top tips for surviving your twenties with style.
1. Get drunk. A lot. No, I’m not advocating alcoholism, but the odd pretty pink cocktail here and there will make not being allowed to be a teenager anymore SO much easier to bear.
2. Stay on at university. Do a Masters. Hell, do a PhD. You get to learn much cooler stuff than you ever did as an undergrad, and you get to stave off the real world for a few years longer. Plus, the cheap booze will make #1 a lot easier.
3. Keep a blog. All the cool kids are doing it these days. Unfortunately, so are the not-so-cool kids, so learn html and make yours stand out from the crowd. Keeping an account of some of the most turbulent years of your life means you have plenty of material when you write your bestselling (and scandalous) autobiography at 80, as well as picking up some friends en route who understand what it’s like, even if they are on the other side of the globe.
4. Log onto Friends Reunited and lie. Nobody knows you aren’t in a band, writing your first novel and going out with the offspring of a celebrity, except for the few people you’re still in touch with, and they’re claiming to be in the next Harry Potter film anyway.
5. Knit. No, seriously. It’s the ultimate relaxation technique, and it’s a great social activity to boot. Plus points include being known as ‘that girl who knits on the tube’ – instant notoriety! – and having lots of funky, unique warm clothes to wear when winter hits.
6. Don’t think about being thirty. What’s the point? You have a whole ten years where not being able to define yourself by your job is a totally valid lifestyle choice, and thanks to your horrifying amount of student debt, no-one expects you to have any money. Embrace and enjoy.
7. Read everything and anything you can get your hands on. From popular science books to 19th century classics, via fantasy and really bad chicklit. Even read the back of your morning cornflakes packet – you might waste five minutes of your life (oh, who am I kidding – it’s only ever taken me three, max), or you might learn something new about what you’re shovelling into your mouth with your morning cuppa. People talk about the outside world, but there a millions of worlds inside the pages of a book. From escapism to advice, you can’t beat the written word.
8. Question your sexuality. Actually, this one doesn’t really seem to be optional. I found myself secretly lusting after David Tennant, much to the confusion of my girlfriend, and I’ve had more than a few hetero friends confessing their girlcrushes over a raspberry martini. If you’re bi, just sit there and feel smug that you don’t have to do that. Or start questioning your gender instead.
9. Write a novel. Form a band. Or start a dozen of each, and have one for every mood. Take part in National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo to its friends) and you will never be bored in November again.
10. Travel. It really does broaden the mind. Whether it’s living in another city, or just shoving your iPod, cuddly toy and a change of underwear in your rucksack and bumming around Europe for a month, you’ll either come back rejuvenated or you’ll stay there forever and develop a whole new set of problems to worry about.