How to get over a broken heart
Mookychicks are completely awesome but no one is immune to heartbreak. Heartbroken Mookychicks had best use this guide – but Mookychaps may alter it to suit themselves.
I believe every girl out there, Mooky or not, will need a shoulder to cry on or at least a friend to nag to during the transition period post-heartbreak. The only flaw to having a consoling friend is that you are constantly being pitied (usually) instead of being pushed back up. Hopefully, this handy little guide will make the pushing yourself back up from heartbreak easier to handle.
1. Slit your wrists, cause bodily harm to yourself, attempt suicide, etc. How is injury and death supposed to solve or prove anything? Sorry lovelies, but no partner is worth hurting yourself over.
2. Try to rationalize your ex-partner’s mistakes and behaviour to excess. Seeing someone else’s point of view is definitely part of the healing process but navelgazing and over-analysing just gets you going in circles. If you feel hurt, what they have done cannot possibly be good or reasonable.
3. Overdose on alcohol and other substances or behaviours to disassociate yourself from the pain. The pain may go away but the feelgood factor is temporary. If you expect pain to go away permanently, you might get addicted to the vice and it is a never-ending cycle.
4. Hire someone to cause harm to the heartbreaker or cojole a friend into giving them grief. Trust me; you do not wanna get into such trouble. You deal with this on your own, and you deal with it without revenge.
1. Write in your diary, blog, Facebook or let your heart out through the healthy hobby of your choice! You can write anything but do not mope around wishing they would change or come back. You are suppose to recover, not retract.
2. Meditate. Get yourself in a quiet place (no music, no matter how soothing) and sit cross-legged with good posture on a comfortable spot. Put your hands on your knees and close your eyes. Say a soothing word that ends in an ‘mmm’ or ‘nnn’, for example, Shalom, Amen or Ohm. Why these sounds? Because they can be drawn out, and they’re good for regulating the breath. I personally prefer Ohm but every Mookychick has their own preferences (just do not use the heartbreakers name!). As an alternative, do yoga or read calming literature (e.g free Buddhist books). You can read some mooky tips on how to meditate in urban spaces to give you a head start.
3. Cry if you really need to. Only if you feel like it though, just to let it all out. Alternatively, you can find yourself a nice secluded mountaintop area and scream your heart out, as much as necessary. It is advisable to avoid the tennis racquet therapy (whacking a pillow with a racquet) as the aggressiveness may collect negative energy upon you.
4. If you feel like they deserve to be hit on the head with a crowbar (or any implement), take out some scrap paper and some colour pencils, crayons, etc and illustrate your violent urges instead on acting on them. Give yourself a good laugh and if necessary, get an understanding friend to ‘critique’ the ‘artwork’.
5. Find feminist artwork, poetry or articles online, preferably comical ones. Mookychaps? This will be difficult for you. Feminist articles will not help. In this painful and rare instance, you are allowed to search for jokes that make fun of girls – or boys, if it was a boy that caused you the heartache. I myself found some silly gif that showed “Boys are stupid, set them on FIRE” and all kinds of variations that truly gave me a good laugh. Being tasteless for a brief nanosecond will help ease the pain and remind you how to laugh again.
6. Talk to someone who will not only sympathize but also understand and advise you to get back on your feet as it will be refreshing to get a supportive push rather than being patted on the back and encouraged to wallow. Ensure your friends do not feel sorry for you – because you do not want to dwell too long in the land of feeling sorry for yourself.