What is asexuality?



Calling all Graces and Aces: Do you prefer cake to coitus? Here’s a mini-mini-guide to asexuality. Just for you. We dip our toes into AVEN (Asexual Visibility and Education Network) and the modern movement…

What is asexuality?

It’s a term used to describe those with little-to-no libido.

This doesn’’t necessarily mean you’’ll never have sexual feelings or engage in sexual activities. It simply means it will be a rarity by personal inclination.

Some research declares asexuality denotes complete lack of sexual action but others disagree and believe it is common for those concerned to engage in self-gratification. I think it’’s probably best to say some do, some don’’t.

Asexuals may have relationships like anyone else but whether the partnership will be a sexual one (to please their other or because they have a sexdrive but it’’s very low), or whether it will be more or less a platonic love (purely romantic love) is never certain.

What is a ‘grey asexual’?

Some people – who may refer to themselves as ‘grey asexual’ – feel their inclination and behaviour lies in a grey area of the standard definition of asexuality. They may experience sexual attraction, but very rarely. They may experience attraction but not strongly enough to want to act on it. They may feel sexuality is not an important part of their lives and don’t identify with a sexualised culture. As the term suggests, it’s a grey area. People define their own identities.

You may hear about Graces and Aces. Aces? They’re asexual people who self-term themselves as such; the Ace playing card is a symbol of asexuality, as is the colour combination of grey-white-purple-black. Graces? A newer coinage for people who consider themselves in the grey area.

Asexuality is not a choice

Like other orientations and proclivities, asexuality is not a choice and cannot be changed through willpower or some nonsense ‘treatment.

AVEN –- or the Asexual Visibility and Education Network – is a network/organization founded by David Jay. Its main goals are acceptance and growth of the asexual community.