Being me

Just out of interest, what’s more important? To be the prettiest or most popular one? Or to be the funniest, cleverous and most generous person you know? If you’re already an Alpha Female it might be a tough call. If you grow up an outsider, you make the very best you can out of what you’ve got… and that’s a lot.

At 13 I was mortified when, on my yearend report, my form tutor called me eccentric. How dare he!

I was struggling being the ‘weird one’ trying and failing to look like everyone else. Though, as this was the 1980’s, with hind sight I can only say – a good thing too!

But hindsight is 20:20 vision and when young we are very short sighted. I was an overly tall (not fat then), flat chested (be careful what you wish for) girl with sticky out hair cut by my mother, glasses that never sat straight (wonky ears) and weird ways.

A lifelong veggie, peacenik and raised atheist, I had more ‘kick here’ notices then I care to mention. And I handled it badly.

My biggest problem was I cried when I was angry (I still do; not a good habit). We all want to be liked but I always picked the wrong people and it took me a long time to realise I was using society’s judgment against others; the same social markers used to judge me. I did have friends: They were all eccentrics like me. And I seem to be a beacon for them to this day. Hoorah!

It does change: Suddenly us outsiders become somehow cool. I’m not the most stylish or prettiest, but I am the funniest, cleverest and most generous person you can meet. Those worth knowing and having in your life see that and treasure you.

Anyway who wants to be normal anyway?