Rub Against Me And Insult Me? I Won’t Respond Politely.

say no active

I’m attempting to mentally prepare myself for the inevitable disaster that tonight will be, when I venture out in public after having a few drinks.  I just want to have a laugh with my friends and forget about everything for a night.  Instead, I will probably end up on the receiving end of more unwanted attention than I bargained for and probably from someone who I couldn’t be less interested in.  I might sound off-key for saying that… but no matter what you look like or how you behave, it happens and it can often be really hard to deal with.

I recently went to a bar and this dude was totally all up in my grill and you know what?  I gave him a shove.  I shouldn’t have. I spent a long time trying to get away first and eventually it seemed like an appropriate response.  He totally flipped as a result.

I’m sorry, but I don’t want you rubbing yourself on me. I just came here to hang out with my friends.  There is also nothing wrong with me not being interested in you or your friends. I’m just trying to get my personal space back.  That’s when one of his bros jumped in and reckoned that maybe I shouldn’t dress like such a “slut” if I didn’t want people to touch me .

I don’t even know where to start with that.

I can’t begin to describe the emotions that surface when I think about this conversation. A person of any gender can wear what they want, and it is still NOT an invitation to touch them.

Their insult also implies that this entire situation was my fault; that my choice of clothes that particular evening meant I was somehow “asking for it”. That it was somehow misleading of me to then go and turn anyone down.


I could have been wearing anything and that’s still not an invitation for him to rub his junk on me. Not that it matters, but I was also complying with the establishment’s dress code. So I’m not asking for “it” – whatever that may be – and you should never assume that someone is.

I don’t appreciate being objectified in any shape or form. If you touch me in a bar (or anywhere else, for that matter) in a way that I don’t feel comfortable with… then I’m not going to respond politely and, quite frankly, I shouldn’t have to.