Ritual for a Whole Soul
In such uncertain and difficult times as these, it’s easy to feel like we’re constantly reaching for something to grasp onto. Some security, something constant to go through all these transitions with. In my own experience, this somewhat delicate desperation has been becoming even louder. I’ve never understood the need for familiar connection, or home, more than I have as I transition and let go of so many things and people I no longer resonate with.
I am a soul who always evolves at such an incredible pace it feels I outgrow everything. Sometimes I’m so inclined to even go back to places I know do not serve me, just to feel I have a tangible place in this great world and I’m not always lingering and diving into the unknown. Yet I cannot remain stagnant. And in the very rituals and magical experiences I have embodied to create new worlds and let go, I have found my constant home to flow with and carry through life always. They remind me that even when I cannot see or feel it, everything is connected, I am not alone, there is some meaning somewhere after all.
I am not alone in the grief of my heart, body and soul as I sit in awareness of it all, breathe in deeply, write down all the woes and names, and watch them burn away. Something changes. I seldom know what yet. But I know it has shifted. I know I have healed another part. I am not in isolation as I submerge myself in a body of water and everything dissolves besides the truth that I am in the flowing water and it is in my pulsing body. I am in this entire narrative greater than I often easily forget. Something is happening, something is alive, something is already complete, I just know. I am not overwhelmed and I am not stuck as I move my body to the sounds of a mesmerising melody and touch of the air around me. The feeling of the life within me.
These are not mere actions, I feel them deeply in my bones and in every living cell. I feel a connection forming, a relationship blooming, as though I am unlocking another part of the truest and largest me each time.
I have tried many things, yet nothing has come as close to making me aware of and intimate with the powerful goddess I am as the physical and emotional journey of understanding my menstrual cycle. The ritual of placing a moon cup within my yoni, digging in and exerting effort to pull it out, and affectionately pouring the intriguing contents down the drain with fixed and open eyes.
The meaningful moments of sending everything back where it all comes from, and where it will all come from again and again.
These are only a few examples of my own. I am enchanted by them all. I am mesmerised by the rituals of the sun and the moon and the Earth. I am constantly curious about the rituals of other souls. I am engulfed in so much in such moments, embraced warmly. Sometimes all of it hurts deeply. Sometimes there are still many questions. But I am alive. And so is everybody else.
Something is happening.