How to avoid parties if they are simply not your idea of fun

avoid parties

If you prefer to avoid parties or clubbing it’s completely fine to say no. If you’re an introvert or just don’t like parties much, do fun your way.

People. Ugh. People. I know, right? More specifically, people wanting you to go to parties when you’re not in the mood or just don’t enjoy that kind of social activity very much. Here are my ways to avoid parties and clubbing when you’re genuinely not up for it.

Humans are generally sociable creatures. For some, however – particularly introverts who can feel drained at parties – the idea of resting up on a sofa in front of the TV with a cup of tea in one hand and a cat in the other is far more appealing than donning your best clothes and facing a night on the tiles.

Introverts will know there are plenty of benefits to a more solitary lifestyle. Findings have shown that those who enjoy spending time on their own can be generally happier since they are content with themselves. So what do you do if you’’re a university student or young person fighting against the grain in a society where everyone else seems to be out every night? Your desire to avoid parties is perfectly natural. Everyone has the right to want fun on there terms. Help is on hand!

1. Go to a party. Just once, with an open mind.

Pick a party where at least a couple of people are going who you genuinely like. If you enjoy it, then congratulations! You won’t have to burden yourself with reading the rest of this list.

If, however, you associate dancing in a room full of sweaty strangers with repeatedly stabbing household nails into your eyes, experience of going to parties means you have tried it… and you can confirm you didn’t like it.

2. If you avoid parties, consider alternative meetups.

You may have low tolerance levels for parties, clubbing or busy bars, but other social situations may be more bearable. Pubs and meetups in cafes offer you the opportunity to sit and actually have a conversation with a friend. Gigs allow you to concentrate on what’’s happening on stage. Writing letters to someone may give you the initiative to keep in touch without the pressure of meeting up with people regularly.

It’’s about what suits you, and what you can do to accommodate your needs.

3. Be completely upfront and say no if you get invited to a party and you don’t want to go.

After my university exams, I went out for a celebratory meal and some friends encouraged me to go to a full-on party in the evening. This is what you’re meant to do after a big life achievement like taking your exams.

I put down my cutlery and explained I’d rather get my leg stuck down a toilet filled with piranhas”. Slightly hyperbolic, but it had the desired effect. They heard, they listened, and they didn’t try to force me to go to a party I had absolutely no interest in.

4. Don’’t be ashamed, or worried you don’’t fit in.

Everyone has their own idea of fun, or what they feel comfortable with. At the end of the day, we are all just skeletons with personalities. The world wasn’’t created for everyone to be carbon copies of each other.

As long as you are happy with who you are and how you conduct your lifestyle, then be confident in yourself.

5. Have a way to unwind that suits you.

Most people see parties as a way to unwind from the stresses of life, which is perfectly understandable. Others –- like myself –- socialise far too much with people in working hours, and prefer to just be left alone when not on duty.

Find something that helps you relax. It could be making arts and crafts or following your hobbies and interests or soaking in the bath. This is especially useful if you’’re in a university environment. Whilst living on campus, everyone around me was partying, but I preferred to stay in my room. To allow myself some time away from studying, I’d watch a film, read, or plan my round-the-world adventures.

6. Don’’t cut yourself off from those who love you.

I know this from personal experience. If you’’re an introvert or of a hermetic-lifestyle disposition like myself, remind yourself that people who care about you want to see your face once in a while.

Friends are important, so devote a portion of your day, week or month to catching up with them. Even if it’’s just sending them a text.

Remember that it’s fine not to like parties or social events that require lots of socialising, noise and potentially alcohol and the like for a lengthy period.

From personal experience I think that what I find important is being able to say no to parties without feeling pressured or judged, and finding ways to socialise that I will actually enjoy.