How to move in with your partner

Co-habiting tips: If you’re moving in with your boyfriend/girlfriend for the first time, sharing a bed, decorating tastes and other housemates can be daunting. These bijou co-habiting tips may help.

I recently found myself facing the choice of homelessness or cohabiting with my boyfriend of four months. I’ve lived with a lover before. It went wrong – spectacularly wrong. This time round I want things to work out and have some tips to share to help you ensure a blissful home life for you and your sweetie.

1. Are you sure you want to move in with your partner? Is this what you really want? Have you talked over any doubts/worries either of you might have?

If the answer to any of these is no, take a step back and rethink. Thinking things through rather than jumping straight in can save a lot of heartache. Asking awkward questions of each other won’t dilute the love. It’ll just save on heartache.

2. Space invaders!

Unless moving all your belongings in straight away in completely unavoidable, take it slow. A toothbrush here, couple of spare socks there, don’t just show up one day with your every earthly possession and start unpacking. It can be quite intimidating suddenly having someone else’s stuff all over your space .

3. Share and share alike.

Clichéd but true. Each taking a fair share of cooking, cleaning, bill paying, sitting up all night with the sick cat really does help. Just remember to take into consideration work/studying schedules. Nothing sucks more than spending the whole day in the library, getting home at 9pm and being told it’s your turn to make dinner.

4. Respect other housemates/parents – don’t argue too much in front of them.

Living with a young couple can be just as hard as being part of that couple. Arguments happen – just try to keep them private. Watching other people fight is painfully awkward…

5. Don’t force other housemates/parents to have VIP seats at your tongue-tennis matches, either

…As is listening to someone’s noisy love-making then spending the next morning sharing a breakfast table with them. Keep it down, and if you really can’t, try biting a pillow. If sex in communal areas is your thing, don’t forget to clean up after yourselves. I’d also advise against suggestive comments every time someone uses that piece of furniture…

6. Dècor drama

If you have similar tastes then decorating your shared space shouldn’t be too much of a problem, if not, there’s only one thing for it: compromise. Explain how important your antique 60’s dressing table is and accept that their tattered Mr. Scruff posters are here to stay.

7. Duvet hogging and other sleep related stresses

It can be weird adjusting to sharing your bed every night, getting used to the way someone else moves, the sounds they make in their sleep. Trouble sleeping can make you grouchy and stressed and if it’s your sweetie-pie’s snores keeping you up this can cause relationship problems. Whilst adjusting to a sleeping pattern for two, I suggest staying up late until you are both ready to fall asleep cutting the chances of one being kept awake by the other.

8. Don’t get stuck in a rut.

This is the most valuable piece of advice I can offer. Letting the romance fade and go stale is the killer of so many cohabiting relationships. Take time to do things for each other, cook favourite meals, buy flowers, write sweet little notes and stick them to the fridge. If you both have busy schedules try to arrange one night a week where you do something special together. It doesn’t have to be an expensive meal or cinema trip every week, get creative: cupcake baking sessions, themed movie nights, candlelit picnic in bed, even a long hot bubbly bath together.

Most importantly don’t forget: You’re sharing your life with him/her because they are mooky. Chances are, living with them will be mooky too.