Uncool things

Sometimes, things just aren’t what they seem. Great ideas don’t always have the fantastic results you were thinking of. Life’s a bytch, but here are a few things you might want to miss out on…

1. Having a Che Guevara t-shirt

As much as you love the man and all that he represents, having his face all over your chest isn’t as rebellious as it seems. You don’t look like a revolutionary, you’ve bought a piece of merchandising made in Taiwan with the face of a man who was profoundly against the excessive consumption of our society. Seems a bit contradictory, doesn’t it?

2. Stuffing your bra

It might turn heads but only until you take the bra off and have cotton wool stuck to your nipples.

3. Unprepared sexual intercourse on the beach

Sand. Need I say any more?

4. Cutting your own hair

Sure, it’s an individual style. No-one has the same cut, with a cut like that, would anyone really want to? Asymmetrical was a great idea, right up until the point where you looked like a pineapple.

5. Lying on your CV

Nodding and smiling isn’t considered as ‘fluent’ in a language. It works on holiday – but not at a job interview.

6. Answering back to a police officer

It makes you feel better, but ultimately it doesn’t help.

7. Scented tampons

Why would you want to buy those anyway? What is the point of putting a scent on a tampon? You’re not going to put it anywhere near a nose, are you?

OK, I only wrote seven things that aren’t really that cool, though they might seem to be at first. But there are plenty more out there for you to find and discover. And… trying to write a list of ten things that aren’t as cool as they seem and only finding seven isn’t cool at all. On the other hand, do I really care?

Yes, she’s wearing cotton wool fakies!

Yes, she has an itchy, sandy bottom!