Quarantine Dream: The Mouse Midwife

A quarantine dream relating to birth and distant friends. The mice will come.

I am here. At home. At a home that is not my real home, but it is in my dream. Taina knocks on the door. It’s a green door. Green emerald, the colour I wish my eyes were. But no, even in my dreams they are dull and dark as the night. I open the door, in pyjamas. In my cloud pyjamas from Primark, that I also have in real life.

There is Taina, as tiny as usual. She tells me she’s pregnant, all still at the door. As I look down to her belly, her belly grows. I let her in. Sit her in my coma couch, the one you’ll never want to get out of. Make her some tea. Green Jasmine tea. She breathes heavily. In, out, in, out.

I do the breathing exercises for pregnant women with her. The day passes. The sun sets, and with it the babies come. I lie a heart blanket I’ve had since I was fifteen under her legs, as if it has survived all these years for this moment. For this very moment. AHHHHH. Her screams fill the room, the space, the universe. I scream with her, with my hands down her crotch, open palms, expecting… I don’t know, a volleyball?

And there they are. Forty-eight little mice fall into my hand. I cringe. She doesn’t look down. She asks if it is all ok, if the baby is ok. I don’t tell here there are multiple babies. I don’t tell her they are mice babies. I just tell her its ok. That everything is ok. They cry.

I pick them all up. This has happened before and it will happen again, I tell myself. I choose one. Put it in a pot on the stove. It cooks, it grows. It becomes somehow a baby. A real baby. The others go down the drain, as go my empty dreams, my shallow heart.

Quarantine dream diary: Reaching out with my spirit to a distant friend.

I am having so many weird dreams, every single day since I went into lockdown. Sometimes I remember, others it is just a feeling. I try to hold on to them as much as I can.
I am very sensitive. I think this is a way of my soul, spirit to come out.

Coming back to the dream… It was so strange. I guess it relates with the fact that even though on the surface I am coping OK, I am anxious. I miss the personal touch of seeing my friends, of hugging, of being out in the world. Taina is one of my oldest friends and I haven’t seen her in a long time. We share the same birthday, she is very special to me. However, we haven’t spoken in a while. She lives in Boston. I found out last week she had a baby girl, but have yet to call her, to ask her how she’s doing. Is it all OK? This dream is my way of reaching to her, of telling her in the receptive world of dreams that I think of her, that I love her.