Walking Through Worlds: Interdimensional Travel in a Multilevel Universe

In a recent interview with a fellow author on my blog, I asked if they were a “I-want-to-believe” Mulder or a “That-is-science-fiction” Scully.

It’s not really a fair question to pose, because life on this planet is, well, multidimensional. No one being is static and one-dimensional. (Except for maybe a Big Orange that’s masquerading as a president. But I’m not here to talk politics, don’t worry.)

I’m here to talk science. I love the science surrounding the possibility of (very small and/or unrecognizable) life on other planets or alternate/parallel dimensions. I am especially fascinated by all things galactic and the field of astrophysics. I embrace the phrase “Keep looking up” that Neil DeGrasse Tyson often says. But, disclaimer, I am not a scientist. In another life, I probably am. In another world, perhaps, where the gender divide in regards to women in fields like math and science is non-existent, I have the chance to fulfill my childhood dreams.

But those dreams are now lost to me with encroaching time, like the clipping I lost of the Challenger astronauts’ last words, accompanied with the iconic photo of the space shuttle’s crew. And, as much as I enjoy reading theories about aliens and alien abduction and the like, I have never had any number-classified encounter with anything extraterrestrial.

I simply wanted be up there, exploring space. I grew up with the original Star Wars. The roguish trader Han Solo was my childhood hero. And the first time I saw Stargate in the movie theatres, it took my breath away. But the reality of space travel is still not the romantic sailing through space as my more creative side imagined it to be. Not even the “Kessel-run-in-less-than-twelve-parsecs” either. So I probably would have been disappointed in the actuality of traveling through the celestial universe with the limitations modern-day technology. (Anybody seen the promised wonders and advancements of the twenty-first century laying around?)

And so I fell back onto my creative side. My imagination was the technology that opened gateways and portals into other worlds. My dreams were incredible journeys throughout the entire universe. And my rogue imagination was supported by a mashed-up combination of spirituality and literary, artistic, and musical inspiration. And there were signs that all my explorations and dreams were somehow more than just imagination. They could be real. The time I met the musicians from a band I loved. The four a.m. phone call from a social acquaintance that confirmed we were having the same exact dream experience at the same time (where we were both in the dream, apparently, and we communicated with each other). It proved, to me anyway, that the universe did have a certain magic. A certain order. And that parallel dimensions did exist. Or, at least, my belief in that there was something more out there. I no longer “wanted to believe”; I did believe, even though the Scully part of my mind was always reaching for the rational, logical explanation.

But I couldn’t prove it to anyone but myself. Still, I tried to record my experiences in words. In my poems. On little bits of paper here and there. And I put them all in a poetry collection and self-published it. Rationally, I did it as a test run prior to publishing a full-length book. To see if I wanted to go the self-publishing route or the traditional route.

Romantically, though, the poetry book was a collection of my dream journeys. Not just the ones I had as a little girl, but the imaginary journeys I continued to have as an adult. Within Quantum Singularity, I could travel through time and space. I could experience the universe as I wished it was. I could live (and die) as a star. I could exist in a quantum state of nonlocality, or entanglement, with another being (or beings). I existed as a singularity; I teetered at the edge of a black hole’s event horizon. And my journeys were amazing. I encountered many incredible life forms out there at the edges of the galaxies I held within my mind and my heart. Some, like the musician I met, and a few others, became tangible muses.

Now, as I age, that celestial magic seems to be fading along with my energy and spirit. I’m journeying so slowly, more slowly than I could have ever imagined. The music of the planets and stars is becoming more and more of a one-note. Sometimes I wonder if I still exist. Most days I’m just out there floating in a void. Am I antimatter? I ask myself. Dark matter? I’m no longer entangled. No longer connected to the energy that flows through all the dimensions. It’s so very quiet out here. Quiet and still, and if I strain very hard, I might still hear the radio chatter of the universe. But my hearing is dimming, and my vision is going dark. It’s hot and cold out here; both in one. I shiver and sweat; I sleep and wake, simultaneously; and I can’t find the stars to point the way to the next journey. Or even into another dimension. I cling to the hope of reincarnation, to take care of all my unfinished business, to fulfil the potential of the who-I-should-have-been that was stolen from me.

My rational mind knows that reincarnation is highly improbable. I still want to believe. I still think the truth is out there. But it’s so dark now. I don’t know where I am. I don’t know when I am. I’m just floating as the universe continues expanding, taking me along with it. Taking me away from everything I know and feel and think. I have no knowledge, no perception anymore. Except for one thought. One last narcissistic-human awareness.

Is this how the universe ends? Or just how I end? Is it one and the same? A decoherence of self, and is even anyone out there to observe it?

Am I finally, completely alone out here?

I’d settle for an ending. It doesn’t even have to be happy. Just an ending to all of this, for once and for all.

Willow Croft mostly dreams in horror these days, but her poetry book can still be found on Amazon and maybe in other book distributors, simultaneously. Join in the intergalactic journey here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/1546682147 or find her author blog at the other end of the wormhole here: https://willowcroft.blog.