Alternative modest style

Dear Mookychick,

I love the different “out of the norm” styles like emo, goth, and electric. But I have a very religious Christian family and with that I can’t do anything too outrageous without upsetting my parents, religious leaders, and religious peers. Don’t get me wrong, I have the clothes, but my mom won’t let me dye my hair an alternative colour, or wear too much make up. I do love the different kinds of styles, but I don’t want to mess up my religious background. Is there anything in between?

Love, Anonymous Me xxx

The Mookychick answer to your problem

You’ve probably already read our article about being a christian goth, but if you haven’t, do.

Itsounds like you’re fine just as you are. You have the clothes, and you haven’t upset anyone you don’t want to upset. What is ‘alternative’? Maybe you can’t dye your hair pink or fire engine red, but perhaps you could dye your hair another colour? Black, blonde, red aren’t necessarily alternative on their own and might be acceptable – it’s what you wear with them and who you are that makes those dyed shades alternative. You could discuss, maybe, getting plum hair. Plum is still closer to a natural shade than pink, and you can get plum hair dye in any chemist, so it’s mainstream enough to stand less of a chance of upsetting anyone. If dyed hair is not an option, there are always different hairstyles and accessories to consider.

It honestly sounds like you’ve already hit a good compromise. There are also accessories, which applied when you’re out and removed before, say, coming home. But you don’t want to do too much hiding of stuff – it will make it harder for your parents to trust you if they find out about it and focus on the small things instead of who you really are as a person. Better to discuss what is a good compromise for your individuality and your parent’s trust, just as you’ve been doing!

As for make up, I’m sure you already do this, but for an alternative look, you could ignore lipstick and just go for heavier makeup on the eyes, with kohl and eyeliner and mascara. You can wear made-up eyes on their own to look alternative but still pleasingly modest.