I feel like I’m missing out

Dear Mookychick,

I am 23 years old and I feel like I’m missing out on life. I quit college to work abroad and have fun with my ex, leaving my friends behind. When I came back my ex split with me and I lost contact with most of my dearest people. I found a job and made friends a lot older than me, my life stayed very routine for a number of months. My life consisted of going to work, spending time with my new boyfriend doing stuff he wanted to do and not being my true self.

After 2 years of an unhappy relationship we decided to end it and I also had to leave my job. I was friendless, jobless and lonely for months. Every man I met wasn’t for me or I wasn’t for him. I became quite low and insecure, my luck with men was very bad and I was being hurt quite a lot. I felt left behind because all my friends were finding love and settling down, and there was me meeting up with guys who only wanted one thing.

I then found a perfect job for me as an Outdoor Activity Instructor, I went away and had the time of my life, not thinking about making anyone happy, but I still had that lonely feeling inside. I met a man during my time there who lived quite far away. We met up and got on so well, I thought that maybe luck was on my side now… I fell for him big time, everything just clicked into place and he felt the same. I received a few offers from other men but I turned them down because I was in love.

My contract ended at my place of work, it was a summer job you see, and my amazing fella and myself travelled back to mine to meet the family. Everything felt so right. When he left to travel home I felt on top of the world that finally I had met a sweet man who was looking after me and vice versa… when he got home he texted me saying I was amazing and beautiful but I deserved someone that can make me happy, he can’t because he doesn’t feel right anymore.

My world fell apart. My season had finished and I wasn’t around my friends anymore, I was at home with no job, and my man had left me.

I don’t know what to do with myself anymore. I don’t have any friends around my area anymore, the men I turned down don’t want to know as they are all loved up with other people, my social life is non-existent, I don’t go back to my dream job till next Summer and the men that are attracted to me only want one thing. I’ve tried talking to my parents, especially my mum but they tell me I’m being stupid. So I’ve kept it all bottled up because I don’t want people to think I’m some sort of negative person, I’m not. I’m usually a very caring person, have lots of confidence and I love making people laugh.

Why am I missing out on all the luck? Its not like I walk around all negative, I keep a smile on my face and tell myself it’s all ok…but I’v had enough!! 🙁

Please can I have some advice? Anything will do 🙂

Love, Anonymous Me xxx

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Ashley says…

You’re missing out on luck for the same reason I’m missing out on all the unicorns. They don’t exist. Sure, you could try your damnedest and squint your hardest but no leprechauns are going to fall into your lap.

It sounds like you’re missing out on life because you want a major, fantastic change to show up with Prince Charming. You’ve admittedly not done the work in maintaining friendships that have dissolved, so put some work into that and maybe take a little cool off from the boys and thank the randomness of things that at least this situation hasn’t left you with mouths to feed.

And in the meantime, perhaps you need a bit more attention paid to your career, perhaps parlaying your summer job into something else you can do when the camp’s not in session. Take care of yourself financially and maybe it will help you take care of yourself in other ways too.