Music band advice

Dear Mookychick,

I was in a band with my best friend at school and we’ve now moved to the same college. I really like him, he’s a dude but I think he’s crap at playing guitar and really want to keep him as a friend but get into another band that he’s not playing in or else just form my own but again not have him in it. I probably sound like a real bytch but I’m seriously into music and want to play with musicians who are as good as me or better than me — what should I do, I don’t want to hurt my friend’s feelings 🙁

Love, Anonymous Me xxx

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Debs says…

Music is an evil, evil business that eats up people and spits them back out again, feeling quite wrecked.

Which is quite cynical, perhaps, but true. It’s hard trying to make music, especially with friends. There’s so much ego flying around and everyone is convinced that there’s only one way of doing something and it’s most certainly, without a doubt THEIR way and anyone who says different is a fool and a ninny. That’s why most sensible people become writers or artists.

The thing is, there’s little room for friendship in a band. Yes, you have to get along and communicate and respect each other, but be friends? Well, that’s always a bonus, but so is having money. So, you’ve known this guy since school, big deal, can he play guitar how YOU want him to play guitar? Can he play it the way that’s going to get your band playing a festival? Is he willing to put in the work? Are you willing to listen to his ideas and help him develop, or do you want to make that break and hit the big time? Does he want the big time? Or a laugh?

Sit down, talk to him, explain what you’re wanting from a band and see if he’s the same. You may be surprised, you may not. Either way, let him know that you’d rather stay friends and find a new band, than fall out and have no band or friend. There’s nothing wrong with starting another band. Most of the musicians I know at the moment are in multiple bands, or have solo projects. And, so you won’t be headlining Glastonbury together anytime soon, but you can still jam together. And once you start mixing with better and more serious musicians, you;’ll learn so much more. Stuff you can teach your friend. Then he can get better and form a band, maybe with you.

Char says…

Cite creative/musical differences. Or even say that you don’t want to go on making music at the moment. Say that you’ve decided you don’t want to be in a band at the moment, then wait a few weeks and join a new one, or create a new band and say ‘Oh sorry, I thought you were happy in the one you’re already in?!’

Feign ignorance! Works every time…

Good luck 🙂