My friend seems unhappy and is distancing herself

Dear Mookychick,

My friend has been very withdrawn lately. She rarely calls me anymore and does not respond to my phone or text messages either. She seems very unhappy all the time but denies that there is anything wrong. She has missed soccer training several times lately and last weekend she did not turn up for the game. What can I do to help my friend?

Love, Anonymous Me xxx

The Mookychick answer to your problem

Char says…

OK, well it sounds as though there is definitely something troubling your friend here, and the question you must be asking yourself is ‘what is it?’ closely followed by ‘have I done something wrong?’

That’s normal to feel, especially if you are used to having your friend with you and in attendance of any activities you do.

Could it be issues at home that are making her feel bad?

Perhaps it could be that she has no money to text, is feeling a bit stressed or tired from exam pressure, puberty, periods, love trouble… anything like that can dampen a person’s zest for life.

So what do you do?

I suggest you pick a time to meet up someplace quiet and neutral with exits so she can easily run off if it turns out that she just doesn’t want to be friends any more.

Unfortunately it is a fact that you have to think about, as friendships throughout our lives come and go, and sometimes they work for a while and then sometimes they just drag you down and sometimes they just quit working out all together with no-one to blame, c’est la vie!

Talking is the first point. Talk to her, find out what’s wrong, offer support and advice if she asks, but the most important thing you can do is listen!

Good luck

x

Ashley says…

All you can do is be there for her.  Could there be something going on at home you don’t know about? Something with the coach? If the coach is a neutral figure, perhaps they could have a talk.

Unfortunately, one of the possibilities is that she is just fading away as a friend. Sometimes it takes years of unanswered e-mails and mailed packages and attempts to re-connect before you realize that some people just stop caring about certain relationships and feel that they don’t have to maintain them. The good news is that you, at least, know about keeping your end of the bargain.